Health Kick Update

Hi Folks,
I've been meaning for ages to give a health kick update.

The bad news is that I've found out officially what I've been suspecting for a while- that I'm Pre-diabetic. It sounds in some ways more serious than it is. Basically my body doesn't process glucous very well, so I have to be really careful with weight, do lots of exercise and particularly eating low GI food. If I'm not careful, I will eventually develop diabetes. But if I am careful, I won't. So rather than treating it like a negative thing, I'm thankful to God that now I know and that I can do something about it. And its an incredibly helpful motivator for living a life-style that is actually what we probably should all be doing anyway, at least in part.

The good news is that I'm getting really good at eating healthy- I've lost alot of weight and I'm .8kg away from being in the healthy weight range for my age.

And....

I fit back into my wedding dress!
love B

The best layed plans

A while ago I was writing about how excited I was about coming down to Melbourne, particularly because it would be a chance to rest.

The best layed plans...

It's so wonderful being back. I'm so thankful for the great time we are spending with our family. It's nice being able to drive around without pulling out a map. It's been wonderful starting to see friends.

But it's not a rest!

Because I'm working next year, my Austudy cut out a few weeks ago, so while I'm down in Melbourne I needed to do some work to get a little extra money in, to cover our rent back in Sydney and to pay for the inevitable Christmas expenses. I've got some work through family connections and I'm so happy about it. It's work that I enjoy, it's flexible, it's more money than I've earned for a long while, and it's a real gift for God. I'm working 4 days a week while we are down in Melbourne.

It's not a rest!

But, saying all that, one of the most restful things about coming to Melbourne is that its not my house. I don't have undone chores hanging over my head. I don't have jobs that can wait but that I'm always aware of to do. And there is a certain peace within relationships with family and old friends. I was quite happy to have a nap on our friends couch last night while Tim talked with our friends late into a night. You can do that with old friends.

I love Melbourne. But I must appologise. I don't think I will have time to blog every second day like I previously promised. I need to rest.
love B

Post muck-up

BTW- there is a post about 4 posts down called exam in two hours which is actually my most recent post. I don't know why it ended up down there and not up here.

But incidentally- the exam went really well, praise God, and I definitely knew alot more than I thought I did (which is a great thing to realise during an exam).
Now onto tomorrows exam!
3 to go- and this time next week I'll be free!
love B

An almost perfect day

I am suppose to be writing about what would my perfect day be.

Alot more complicated than it sounds! Because I now live in Sydney and so my perfect day needs to be spread across two cities. But it can't involve a plane flight- because that would take up to much time- and to do all my favourite things will take up every second of that day. But then, if I was busy doing all my favourite things- would I get tired and warn out?

The other hard thing about perfect days is that when you look back over which days have been the most wonderful in your life- they often aren't what you expect. My wedding day was up there, very cliche- but it really was awesome! But many of the other days have simply been ordinary days with extraordinary occurrences, or just really great fun times with family and friends.

And the cynical, grumpy part of me says-all I want is a day when the hard things in my life could just disappear. Then that would be the perfect day, regardless of what else was to happening.

But taking all of that into account, and knowing that this day is so chocked full I probably wouldn't really enjoy it (!)- here is my perfect day. I've set it in Melbourne-and my new life-long-healthy-eating-habits have, for some unknown reason, gone on holiday ;)

Waking up in a beautiful bed and breakfast with Tim, somewhere in the Dandenong Rangers- with a decadent, multi-course breakfast of all my favourite things (fruit, eggs Benedict, quality toasted muesli and a huge glass of orange juice). We would then go down the mountain and meet my parents and sister for a chai-latte at the Dragon Fly Cafe in the Basin. Then, off to a park for a big BBQ lunch with all my dearest friends. After a short afternoon nap Tim and I would get dressed up for our evening out. We would start with Indian, and then come back to his folks place for dessert (lemon tart, cheesecake...it's hard to decide...). It would be crowded with various relatives and friends and we would play crazy games into the night. For some reason that I'm yet to come up with- we would end the night by dancing!

So there it is. My almost perfect day.
And now I'm even more excited about going back to Melbourne.
1 exam down today- 4 more to go!
love B

The Art of Overdoing exam prep

I hate being a semi-perfectionist!

I have to say semi, because though I have perfectionist tendencies- I can't call myself a true perfectionist. My house is disgracefully messy, my hand-writing in atrocious, and when I've been writing an essay forever, like your standard non-perfectionist I hand it in rather than checking and double checking because I am SO VERY SICK OF IT!

In fact, it was only a few years ago that I worked out I was a perfectionist at all. I was sitting in church and in the sermon it talked about how we tend to see perfectionism as a slight problem but really a good quality ( the kind of thing you say when asked in an interview what your weakness's are..."I'm too much of a perfectionist, I need my work to be just right!"). But that in reality perfectionism can often mask an underlying insecurity that what I do has to be perfect or people/God won't be happy with me. I suddenly realised at that moment that I was a perfectionist. I may not be in all areas of my life. But I know I avoid doing things I know that I'll be bad at- I just stick with my strengths. I set ridiculously high standards for myself academically- and it's only when I talk to other people that I realise that this isn't normal. And particularly in relationships I'm often so stressed about serving people that it becomes about "Being the perfect friend" and not about serving or caring for them.

While I think I'm getting better in all these areas, the semi-perfectionist tendencies reared their ugly heads again this week as I began to study for exams.

The reality of exams is usually that you work out what might be on the exam, and you make sure you cover enough topics in your prep to make sure you can answer most of the questions.

But this is what goes through my head "Alright, for section C of the OT exam, I'll make sure I've got Psalms and Job down. One of them has come up in every exam for the last ten years. I'll be fine. But what if they don't? What if this is the year that they don't? I really should cover wisdom literature generally? But what about if there is a question about "The writings" generally. That came up in 2002. There could be 3 questions- one on the Apocryphal writing, one on "the writings", and one on Daniel- none of my topics. Maybe I should do the writings too. I could probably wing it though- I could just work it out on the day if I had to. But what if I panic? I don't normally panic in exams. But what if this is the first, what if this is the first and I panic and I fail. I never failed before...maybe I should do the writings too".

This is the point where I come to Tim- he rolls his eyes at me, tells me that I'll be fine and I realise I'm being an idiot.

Friends, please pray for me. I want to do well, but more than that I want to learn and grow. And most of all, I want to learn not to put my eggs in the "I'm academic" basket. My eggs should all be in the "Jesus died for me" basket.
love B

POV thanks and my holiday ramble

Hi folks
Just wanted to say thanks for all your advice on the "point of view question". I'm leaning towards 1st person- but I feel a bit more relaxed about it now- I'll just see how it goes and I can always change it. Thank you!

Unfortunately- despite lecture pads full of notes and picture for my story that I've stored up during the last few weeks of classes ;)- with exams fast approaching I don't know how much time I will have to actually write.

But oh, the holidays. In 3 lovely weeks I will be done with study for the year and will have one glorious month off in Melbourne. In some senses I'm a little nervous. It's been so long seen I've been down and seen everyone! Silly, I know.

But when I think of long walks around the paddocks in the Basin, watching Tim and Joel (his brother) fight over which Wii games are the best, seeing how much taller my little cousins have gotten, eating Mums amazing cooking, talking Gilmore girls and theology with Sandy, and seeing Tim's parents, Elise (sis-in-law), Joel (bro-in-law), Harry and Ange (their wonderful significant others), and whoever else decides to come over to the crazy world that is my parents-in-laws house! I can' wait to see my dear old church friends, and all my RMIT girls, and my relatives at the various Christmas parties we will be attending. I hope to reacquaint myself with the game of Cricket, to blog every second day, to talk and talk and talk with my dear husband, and to share 20 odd year old jokes with my Mum, Dad, and sister. I look forward to watching kids walk that I've never seen walk before, and sleeping in the room where I slept when I myself learnt how to walk.

I know it will be hard, and a little painful- knowing I am coming back for only a little bit, and that its still three more years up in Sydney. I know it will bring back lots of uncertainties about the future and what's going to happen. I know for some relationships it will be like we've never left and others like we've never met.

But I am still very, very excited.

Now, back to study...

love B

Exam in two hours

I've got an exam in two hours.

I'm petrified.

Tim keeps saying "You always stress"

I say "This is different"

Tim says "You always say that too"

It all stems from a warning we got on the second last day of term "The New Testament department is known for asking questions you wouldn't expect in exams". Now, for someone who likes to be extra prepared and know what I'm getting into that is profoundly disturbing.

But, if I look beyond my (probably unfounded) terror I have to say that this is probably the best way to do exams. Because rather than researching set topics or working out answers to questions that are "due to come up" this exam- I'm actually just reading and getting to know Mark, Ephesians, and 1 Peter. It may mean not as good a mark (!!!shock-horror!!!) but it's a good reminder that I'm not here for a two digit number printed on a transcript. I'm here to learn. I'm here to know God better. And I feel like that has happened. I'm amazed at the great cosmic plan of God- and inspired by what that should mean for Christian relationship (Eph). I'm challenged to remember that being the new people of God means being different and suffering- but knowing that it is only for a little while- and that "God himself will restore you and make you Strong, firm and steadfast" (1 Peter 5:10). And I once again stare up at the Cross of Christ- amazed that the one who made bread from nothing, walked on water, and had power over demons chose to die for me.

Wow- eternal perspective really helps with nerves ;)
love B

My Dilemma

I love writing fantasy fiction.

I just love it. It's like finally getting the two competing sides of my brain to work together. My right side comes up with some specific aspect of the story. My left brain scream "No, that's not logical" and then spends the rest of the day working out how the rest of the story can be changed and adapted to accommodate my creative fancies. Meanwhile my right brain continues to dance around many more crazy ideas to decide which one to hassle left brain with next time.

I love having a world in my head. I love thinking about the history, the geography, the everyday people and their worries and concerns. I love thinking about narrative and characterisation, and how to "show and not tell". I love when I'm walking alone, or sitting in class and suddenly have a thought I know I have to write down. I love tossing around ideas with Tim and having someone else to get caught up in my excitement (of course, I have to be teased a fair bit about various bits of my story, but I don't mind too much ;).

I don't love how fake and phony I often sound in what I write, but I'm having fun and getting better so I think that makes it worthwhile. And maybe, just maybe I may be able to write something that will one day be published. That's the dream anyway.

At the moment my biggest frustration is the dilemma- first person or third person. You see, I always write in first person. It is the most fun to write- because you are actually in the head of the person in the story. But first person is getting rarer and rarer these days- and Tim is convinced it will hinder my story long term.

So I try third person. In my climatic final scene it worked really, really well. But I just can't seem to stick to it. I am too much in the habit of first person and I love it! And sentences that move from Third to First regularly for some reason don't seem to make alot of sense.

"Belinda sat at her computer, staring the the screen. Will I write in third person or first person? She absently jabbed at random keys, and I found myself getting frustrated with the question. She wonder if any one's changed their status on facebook. I wondered if she should change mine. I could write on hers: Belinda is writing her facebook status in the Third person"

Confusing hey! So I'm interested in people's thoughts. What do you prefer: First person or Third person?

Just coz it's a nice one

Tim and I at a friends wedding last month taken by our friend Somy

Just thought you might like to see it!

It's all Greek to me!

Yesterday I sat my end of year Greek exam.

Greek and I have such a funny love/hate relationship. Sometimes it is my Nemesis, my dragon to be slayed. Other times it's my fascination- my project- my cryptic cross word that longs to be solved.

One of the scariest things about studying this year was the prospect of having to learn Koine Greek- which is the form of Greek used when the Bible was written. I knew (or thought I knew) that I wasn't really a language person, so the idea of having to devote time and energy into learning was scary. The 1 year course that I'm doing doesn't require Greek- so at many times I wondered at my wisdom of taking this on voluntarily. I walked out of my exam yesterday feeling really great about how I had done, and finally convinced that despite the work it was definitely the best decision.

At present I am still deciding whether to work or study next year. So after the exam- Tim asked me how I felt considering this might be the last time I ever had to do Greek.

I felt sad!

Because I feel like I'm only just scraping the surface. I have learnt so much this year and I feel there is so much more to learn if I knew how to do it better.

So, the dragon has been vanquished and the nemesis is a friend. So what am I to do with all my Greek free time? Well, today I had coffee with two people, went for a walk, hung out with Tim, and now I'm finally getting back to my fantasy fiction.

But after today I probably have to start thinking about my many exams which start in a week and 2 days!
Better not put away my dragon slaying sword just yet!
love B

Experimental Cooking Day!

I can't remember if I've ever written about Sunday's on my blog before.

Sunday's are my weird, funny, kinda special kinda sad day. You see, on Sundays, after church in Chatswood (which is wonderful) I kiss my husband goodbye and head home for the afternoon. My studious (and handsome) man spends the afternoon studying hard either at church, the library, or the coffee shop- and then goes to evening church. He then catches the train home and I heat up the left-overs of whatever I had for dinner. I suspect that in-between all the studious (and handsome) goodness there might be video game playing at Harvey Norman, and some unhealthy food eating while I'm not there- but I'm fine with that ;)

And what do I do during this time? Theoretically I work really hard, go for a walk, cook some dinner, and do some cleaning while I wait for Tim to go home. But the problem is, as an extrovert on the extreme end of extroversion- I go mad and get a little sad without him :( Not sad enough to spend the whole day studying at Chatswood with him- but a little bit mad and a little bit sad.

So, as well as all the theoretical productiveness, I also do a fair bit of reading and DVD watching to cheer myself up. I have a lovely chat with Mum each Sunday to burn off some of that extroversion. But I decided I needed a new form of entertainment. Enter: Experimental Cooking day.

I love cooking very much. But, I find it hard to get inspired- despite the many cooking magazines clogging up our bookshelves. So I decided that Sunday would be the day when I would do some experimental cooking. This is my second experimental cooking day. The first involved roasting my own semi-dried tomato's. Unfortunately- for some reason they didn't really dry- but they cooked a bit and tasted pretty good on my roast veggie and mince pizza so I didn't mind.

And today- today I made ricotta!

I found the recipe in a Donna Hay magazine and it looked really easy. And as I love ricotta and don't like the price- I thought this might be a perfect experiment. I was a little bit concerned as Donna Hay method seemed to be different than taste.com.au suggested. And taste.com.au has never been wrong before. But Donna Hay had such artistic pictures of food- surely she knows what she's talking about? So I tried it. Sandy and I brought muslin for draining and Tim and I found a cheap candy thermometer- and I was ready to go.

Did it work? Well, technically it did. But it took 6 cups of milk to create 1 cup of ricotta. So I'm starting to think that maybe the price of ricotta at the shops isn't too bad after all.

Home-made verses store bought is always an interesting dilemma. I was burnt a little bit my first go at ravioli- so much time and the results? Not as good as Latina.

As my Nan once told me: "You spend hours in the garden working on your lettuces. You plant the seeds and you weed and you keep the bugs off. And then you go to the shop and see lettuces for one dollar each. Its rather depressing."

Make-over

My blog is getting a make-over!

My friend Lou who created Where the blog are you? is helping me with the design and the technical side of things. Soon we will move on from the general pinkness to something more unique to me.
Yay!

I'm currently trying to think of a symbol or picture which best represents me. Any suggestions?

When ever I think of Make-overs I always think of the movie Clueless.

Cher: "From now on we are alternating Cindy Crawfords "Areobesize" with "Buns of Steel" and reading one non School book a week. Mine is "Fit or fat"

Anyway- really should get back to Greek :(
love B
PS There is also a competion happening over at "Where the Blog are you" check it out!
http://bloggingaussie.blogspot.com/search/label/Competitions

Shopping Spree!

One of the many things that good about sister Sandy visiting is the shopping. You see, Sandy is an expert op-shopper. She knows what is going to work. One of the hardest things about op-shopping is that the clothes are generally all bunched together on a rack. You see the very edge of a garment, it is a lovely texture and print. This could be a winner you think to yourself proudly as you pull it from the hanger. You find out it has shoulder pads, big mother of pearl buttons, and an anchor embroided into the pocket. You very quickly let it slide to the floor below the rack before anyone saw that you actually touched it.

However Sandy has the knack (from years of practice) of knowing which garments are going to be good based solely on the sleeve.

You also need determination and patients to be a good op-shopper; two characteristics of both my dear parents which seem to have skipped me and ended up firmly in the genes of Sandy. Our op-shopping day was a 35 degree day, and I was walking on a slightly rolled ankle. I spent most of my time at Vinnie's sitting on the floor listening to Sandy's ipod while she very kindly dropped outfits into my lap!

This was my favourite top I got. Isn't it gorgeous?

I ended up spending $40 and if you include a few fantastic cast-offs from my cousin- I've pretty much got my summer wardrobe sorted.

Tim, however, couldn't believe that I would spend $40 at an op shop. You see, usually if we buy clothing over about $20, we warn the other that we are going to do it. For the next day Tim kept muttering to himself "40 dollars at an op shop...". He even dared to compare it to the "joining a wine club" incident of 2006 (always scary when your husband starts a sentence "I know we agreed to discuss first if we were buying something over one hundred dollars but...")

I've never been a fashionable person. And as my Aunt sweetly put it "You have a tiny upper back, but make up for it in the front!". So clothes shopping- though not the stress it has been for many of my friends- was always a cause of frustration as so many styles are not make for someone my shape.

But I'm getting more used to what suits me and doesn't- and now getting new clothes is starting to get more fun. Fun enough to spend $40 at an opshop anyway.

Me: "If you include the free stuff I got from Sulie that's 12 outfits Tim, 12 outfits for $40!"

Tim: "Fourty dollars at an op-shop...fourty dollars..."

Sandy Shananigans in Sydney

Sandy and Belinda's Sydney adventures!

Enmore Road, near where we live
Sandy, Jenny (Sandy's Sydney Stats friend) and Me had rice paper rolls for tea... ...and watched lots of Gilmore Girls (sorry, Sandy's face too dark and I couldn't change it)
Me...hmmm, what city do you think I'm in?
Really hard to tell isn't it?

We actually swapped umbrella's for this shot because they went better with our outfits!

Sandy's Chai latte was too sweet and mine not sweet enough- so Sandy did some mixing. Don't you love the cheeky look!Sandy in the water at ManlyMe in the waterSandy on the ferrie once again doing the cryptic cross word- Always a theme in a Sandy day!

True Story. I was writing the previous post and Sandy was watching. I asked "Do you think it will offend people to quote you saying "crap"?" and Sandy replied "It doesn't offend me"

Me: "Clearly since you said it!"

Quote of the week

Hi Friends,
My sister Sandy has been visiting the past few days- so its been priceless quotes gallore- particularly if you include the 8 Gilmore Girls episodes we have watched so far. But I think this one is still my favourite.

Sandy (in response to a 35 degree Sydney Spring day): "I've spent all day swapping sides of the street to avoid the sun. The song "Sunny side of the street"...it's a load of crap!"

Photos of our escapades coming soon.
love B

Site worth checking out if you are a blogger/blog reader

Hi Folks,
This is a message for all of you out there who a bloggers, or who particularly enjoy reading blogs of not just people you know, but other people as well. A friend of mine Lou has started a blog called "Where the blog are you?" which is a networking blog so that Aussie bloggers can find out about each others blogs. It will feature different blogs each week and you can search to find blogs on different areas that your interested in. It's worth checking out:
The link is: http://bloggingaussie.blogspot.com/
Enjoy,
love B
PS Sorry for the silence this week-but its a good sign- its coz I've been studying instead ;). Please pray for my Greek exam (in 3 weeks time)- its going to be pretty tough (our whole class was a bit shell shocked when we looked at past exams and couldn't even understand some of the questions!) and I'll need to work hard over the next few weeks to be able to do it.

The things Kids say

Quote of the week comes from one of my five year old Sunday School girls.

In response to a song about how big God is:
"God is so big that he could squish your head and your eye balls would pop out!"

Home sweet home

They're Back!

For those of you who don't live in Sydney or don't pay attention to weather from other states (why would you, really)- Spring has well and truly hit in Sydney. Gone are those winter jumpers and my beloved pinkie/purple coat- only to return if we are out walking in the cooler evenings. After so many freezing nights I'm finding myself suffocating under our big fluffy doona. Tim and I are thinking of going to the beach tomorrow- its going to be 27!

But, unfortunately, as the temperature creeps up, so do the number of cockroaches in our house.

Ew!

Tim and I were sucked in to buying a sonic cockroach contraption which sends out super sonic sounds that big cockroaches can't stand. And so far (praise God) we haven't had another episode of "the giant cockroach landing on my head while I was sleeping" incident. But it doesn't seem to deter the littlies and they are coming out in force.

The other lovely surprise I got this week is when I went to pick up my trusty pink sandals and found them...covered in mould! Guess I'm due for a new pair anyway :(

But God has blessed us so much with where we live. We have way, way to much space in our house- which in inner-western Sydney is a very rare problem to have. We have a dish-washer. We have furniture, almost all of which was gifts from relatives and friends over the years. We live in gorgeous inner-city suburb, full of cute little houses, fun shops, lovely parks, and which is close to everything. We can walk to college, we can walk to about 10 different couples from Colleges houses, I can even walk to the super-market in a pinch.

It is definitely not perfect, but it really is one of those cases of God answering our prayers in a way that was so much greater than we imagined when we panicked about where we would live.

So, despite the fear that fills me as I move towards the box of summer cloths- hoping they won't be covered in mold, as I search frantically for a non-precious item to hit the cockroach with before it runs away- I am very, very thankful for this crazy hospital house.

Trusting God

What do you do when your finding hard to trust God with your life?

This is something I've been pondering alot this year. Most of the time (or at least most of the time in this amazingly blessed country that we live in) you can just remind yourself of Romans 8:28 "All things work for the good of those who love him, all who are called according to his purpose"- and see that playing out beautifully in your life. We can rest in the knowledge that God is good, and that he loves us, and that we can trust him with everything that might happen. We look back over our life and thank God for the way that he's blessed us and cared for us, even through the tough times.

But what about when that is hard? When suffering doesn't make any sense? When you pray, and you pray and you pray and it doesn't change. When friends around you have such horrible, tragic things happen to them that you don't even know what you can possibly say to comfort?

You can go to the Psalms and they are wonderful. Through the pain and the doubt the Psalmists find themselves looking back at the God who saved their people. My personal favourites for those times are Psalms 23, 27, 42, 73, 126. I really encourage you to read the Psalms and store up your own list of Psalms for times of doubt, sin, joy and struggle.

In the past, when its been hard to trust God, the Psalms have always been my go to point. But this week I've found a new strategy and it was such a blessing I wanted to tell you all about it.

I go to the gospels and I read about Jesus.

I know it sounds a bit weird and non-specific. But if you want to see what God is like, what better place to go than to the Son who walked on this earth.

When I wonder if God really does care about my pain, I read the stories of Jesus interacting with people, challenging people, loving people and I think- yes, I can't look at this man and say that he and his Father do not care about my pain.

I look to the depth of his love, seen on the cross as he died for me, even me, and I think- yes, this is love.

And I repent, praise him for his goodness to me, and keep praying. I pray in the knowledge that whatever the answer, it is from one who loves me.
love B

Pictures from our holiday

Tim looking out over the Mt Tomah Botanical gardens

The beautiful gardens

Me and my pigtails

My very unsuccessful attempt at a self portrait!

Back from Holidays

Hi Folks,
I just got back from a marvelous three days near "Historical Winsor"- North West of Sydney. And it is pretty historical by Australian standards- we walked through both the oldest church and the oldest pub in Australia.

Its funny what makes a holiday great. We rocked up to our Bed and Breakfast and I had the butterflies I always have in these situations- wondering if what we found on the internet would be any good. As we introduced ourselves to the lady running it and she showed us round the place my eyes immediate fell to the shelves and shelves of cooking books and cooking magazines they had available for guests! I was sold. What more could I need on a holiday!

It was a lazy time of long walks, afternoon sleeps, reading and driving around the country-side. And time away is always such a refreshing thing for Tim and I and our relationship- its just nice to have heaps of time together to relax. Tim laughs at how silly and happy I get when we go away. Because as much as I love our house, no matter how much I tell myself to relax there- it is always like a weight of my shoulder to be somewhere else and not have to do anything!

Now I just hope I can reacquaint myself with my essay topic enough to hand it in on Monday!

I will see if any of my camera photos worked tomorrow and put some up!
love B

Tim and I- some pictures from our wedding

Thought you might like some pics from our wedding to end the story (sorry if they are all out of line- can't get it to do what I want)

Here is three people from my story- from the left- Fi, Sandy, and Mike (the gorgeous little girl is my cousin Kate)

Here is one of my favourite shots of Tim and I, isn't it gorgeous with all the flowers!

And Finally!

Tim and I, Part 5

The final installment!

I turned up to NTE and hit my first hurdle. At NTE people get placed within different college accommodation- and Tim and I were in adjacent but different colleges. This meant we eat meals in different places.

I saw Tim alot, but it was never at a good time to talk. The first day, he was with his friends and so all I could say was hi. The second day, I saw him while I was busy talking to an old school friend I hadn't seen for 3 years. Again, no time to talk. My sister (who knew about Tim) and I hatched up a plan. She was in the same college as Tim, so we swapped name tags and I ate in Tim's dinning room. Not that it did any good, again we said hi, but I was too shy to go up and sit with him and he didn't approach me either.

As it got to the second last night I started to despair. As I went to a special question time about mission, I looked around for Tim, but he wasn't there. I tried not to get too discouraged.

Tim was going to the question time, but he was late because he was talking to his mentor Ben. You see, Ben was staying in the same College as me with his family. I had been helping out with his kids, and this had a big impact on Ben. So Ben pulled Tim aside and told him how I'd been helping them out, and that he should ask me out. After this conversation Tim walked in to question time and saw me.

After question Tim, his friend and my friends walked back toward our colleges. Tim and I lagged behind and talked. It was a good conversation, and I opened up quite a bit about how I was feeling generally about life. It was our first really deep conversation and I was touched by Tim's concern for me. As I returned to my room I began to feel more optimistic about my chances with Tim.

The next day I didn't see him until the last talk. After the talk I hoped to be able to walk back with him, but it was raining so everyone was driving cars. Then I thought I'd go up and talk to him, but he was praying with Mike Veith so I couldn't. I decided to go 'visit' my sister Sandy at her colleges supper and see if I could talk to Tim that way. He wasn't there, and I settled into what I thought would be a disappointing evening.

So what was Tim doing during that time?

This next bit of the story still humbles me, and I often feel I don't live up to it! That nights the talk that we had heard actually covered the character of a godly wife. Tim had been listening and thinking. At this stage he still wasn't sure about asking me out. During the talk Tim was struck that I was the most godly women he knew (see what I mean about feeling humbled!) and he decided right then and there that he would ask me out.

The praying he was doing with Mike Veith was about asking me out!

He went to my supper room to find me but I wasn't there. He returned to his own supper room and there I was. He came up to talk to me, and my perceptive wonderful Sandy excused herself and didn't come back! Tim and I talked for probably about an hour that night. It was getting late, I was pretty sure I knew what was coming, and so I said I probably had to go to bed. Tim asked if he could walk me to my college and I said yes. Tim asked me how I had found the talk, and I said it was great. Tim said during the section about a godly wife he thought about me! He said he thought I was a wonderful person and he'd love to have the chance to get to know me better. Would I like to have dinner sometime? I said yes, and offered him my number. As we were about to part he said "I was hoping you would say yes!". I laughed and said "I was hoping you would ask!". Up until that point Tim had no idea that I had been interested!

So that is how God brought together Tim and I. I am very, very thankful because my funny, godly husband is such a blessing and I can't think of anyone else in the world I would rather be married to. God knew exactly what I needed and he gave it to me. I am so thankful!

Hope you enjoyed our story!

love B

Tim and I Part 4

My memories of Wednesday Bible Talk are very dear. It was such a great time, brilliant talks, entertaining new friends, and of course time with Tim. Wednesdays were my favourite days, and I often found it so hard to concentrate at work, I was so happy! Again, and again I prayed "God, please make me sensible, and not silly". And to my amazement it worked. God helped me not to be constantly imagining Tim and I having a future together, to not imagine him to be something he wasn't. When I thought about him, I thought about what I actually knew about him, not what I hoped he'd be like. This was an amazing thing for me, and such a gift from God.

Meanwhile, several of Tim's friends started asking about me. "Belinda's coming pretty regularly, maybe she's interested in you?". "No" Tim assured them, "I think she's just here for the talks".

As the end of the year approached, Wednesday Bible Talk was going to finish up for good, and with it my opportunities to hang out with Tim. As this time approached, I found out Tim was actually preaching one week. It was on a week where I normal had Bible study, a fact we discussed the week before. But I really wanted to go, and I figured by turning up hopefully Tim would figure out I was interested and maybe make a move. I explained to my Bible study leader that a friend was preaching, and was excused from going. That Wednesday I was so scared! I really thought I was laying my cards out on the table. What would he do?

And so I turned up and heard his talk and it was wonderful! Tim is a very gifted speaker, but what I really appreciated was having a window into his relationship with God. And after the talk we hung out as usual and I wondered if he knew why I was there. That night he pulled me aside and said "I know this is normally your Bible study night and that you came to hear me and I just wanted to say that I really appreciate it."

He must know, I thought to myself. We had also worked out that night that we were going to both being going to NTE, a Uni student conference in Canberra. So I figured, if he was going to ask me out, it was going to be on NTE.

Had Tim figured out my oh so subtle hint. Of course not! He just thought I was being a good friend! I had probably moved up to equal first on his list of favourite girls ;), but he wasn't sure enough to ask me out yet.

Final installment tomorrow!

Tim and I Post 3

Fi and I walked into the WBT (Wednesday Bible Talk) before it started. Fi, being the confident person that she was, bounded up to Tim to say hello, and I followed meekly behind. I said hi to him in a way that I thought was enthusiastic, but Tim read as quite cold. Well, clearly she isn't interested, he thought to himself!

After the talk we went to Hungry Jacks for dinner and we sat around talking. I really enjoyed it, and it was great to get to know Tim's friends.

So two weeks later, I found myself back again, and Tim and I continued to talk.

Two funny things happened in the process. The first was I told my friend Kirsten about Tim. But don't tell anyone, I told her quite seriously. The next time I saw her she said, "I've asked Steve Williams about him" (Steve is the staff worker at RMIT CU). I was mortified! She wasn't suppose to scout him out for me! She said she wanted to know if he was good enough! The information Kirsten had for me was quite useful. Steve said he was a really godly guy, who was very intelligent (though he pretended he wasn't). He'd make a terrific husband, and in Steve's words "he was a great catch".

Despite my frustrations at the way I had found out (though I'm very thankful now), this was very useful information. I felt like I knew enough about his character that I would say yes if he asked me out.

The other funny thing happened the second night I came to WBT. You see, Tim had told his mentor Ben that he was a little bit interested in me. That night, after Ben had left, he sent Tim a message "It's not that far to The Basin!". The Basin was the suburb in which I lived. Tim didn't know that, and so the message didn't make any sense to him. He showed it to Mike Veith, who didn't understand it either. He almost showed it to me to ask if I knew what it meant! But he didn't, and the story continued...

Tim and I Post 2

A very good friend of mine once told me that guys often like multiple girls at the same time. I didn't believe her. Of course they don't!

But I was wrong.

While I tried not to get carried away with Tim, who I saw occationally at parties in the months that followed, Tim was not exactly doing the same. I was definately on the list of girls he was interested in (or at least I was when he saw me, otherwise he forgot about me), but there were other girls alot higher than me! I had no idea, in fact, I was pretty confinced he was also interested! This was a great thing to be deceived about, because if I didn't think he liked me I probably would have turned shy again. Instead I made an effort to talk to him each time I saw him. I still felt I didn't know him very well, and wasn't sure when I was going to get the chance to know him more. I did, however, get a chance to hear him give his testimony at an evangelistic rally.

Eventually we find ourselves on another camp and got chatting in a group setting. I had recently gotten a job at Melbourne Uni and he was asking about it. He mentioned casually that RMIT CU (which he attended at the time) had a 6:30 talk on every Wednesday. "You should come along some time" he suggested. "I have Bible study on every second Wednesday" I answered, "but I'd love to come".

A week after the camp finished Fi and I were talking and she asked me if I was interested in anyone. I decided to tell her about Tim. Her first words were "Hmmm, Belinda Grant, yeah that sound alright, I think you can like him!" We sat in the car for hours chatting. Fi's words on the issue (besides the blessing on the name change) were straight to the point, very Fi like. "Look, you can wait around for years hoping to see him and never really knowing what he's like, or you can do something about it". I mentioned the Bible talk, and Fi agreed to come along for moral support.

Tim and I Part 1

Hi folks!


I've been home from College sick for the last two days, and to amuse myself (in between essay writing and coughing) I have been looking at a few stories on people's blogs about how they ended up with their respective spouses. It's rather fun, often over the top, and many times makes me laugh- because these greeting-card worthy love stories of patiences and romance are so different to what happened to us. And yet it is the same God who brings them about. So it inspired me to write about how me and Tim got together. He is still deciding if he is willing for this- so if you see this up he must have said yes!

To start off with, I should paint a picture of what kind of girl I was . Though its probably hard to believe if you only know me now- I was painfully shy when it came to guys I was interested in. When I liked a guy, it was often more in my head than based on any flesh and bone realities! At 22 I had never had a boyfriend, and this worried me greatly. I wasn't a flirt, I knew I didn't want to be a flirt- but I worried this would get in the way of me being noticed. A wise older Christian friend gave me wonderful advice- focus on serving God- and that will attract the kind of man you want to marry anyway.

Unbeknowns to me, I had already had some contact with the man I would marry. My first memory of Tim was from the year before we met. He was doing a book review at a camp we were both at, and I have a very vivid memory of the first thing I heard him say "Hi, my name is Tim Grant, and I like wearing shorts!". His somewhat comical book review that followed gave me the impression that he was a funny guy- but as I wasn't generally interested in funny guys, I didn't give him another thought. My second memory of him was at a friends party (we were often at the same parties, but as we'd never been introduced we never talked). He'd been to a wedding that day, and rocked up in his suite, and I remember thinking that Tim Grant scrubs up alright, he looks very good in a suite!

Several months later I was on a camp called the Victorian Christian Youth Convension. Me and my friend Fi had invited members of our youth group to come and none came along to the day session- much to our disappointment. However, during the day we bumped into Tim and his friend Mike Veith, who Fi knew from previous meetings. Since we all weren't doing anything that afternoon we hung out, and Mike and Tim joined us for a BBQ with the young adults from church.

That night, after the session I sat down next to Tim and we talked. Because I wasn't interested in him (as I said, I never liked funny guys), I was alot more comfortable with him than I usually was with guys I didn't know. He asked me about my future plans and we talked about how we both wanted to do ministry. We both smiled at each other and in that moment the following thoughts went through my head We both have the same ideas about the future, I feel really comfortable with him, he's a lovely Christian guy, I wonder why I don't like him, wait a minute I think I do!

Tim's interest in me was growing that night as well.

That night I had a dream about him, where we had had a really deep, wonderful conversation. I knew it was just a dream, but still, it suggested to me that my subconscious was interested too! But I remember praying and praying because I didn't want to like him for the idea of him but for him. So I prayed the words I would repeat over and over to God over that next year Father, make me sensible about him, and not silly!

Tim, meanwhile, just like a guy, promptly forgot about me ;)

Next installment coming tomorrow!

A confession

Dear friends,
I have a naughty confession to make. I'm a bit embarrassed but I felt it was important to let you know. You may have figured it out already, given the lack of posting in recent weeks. But in case you haven't...here it is...

I'm bored of blogging!

Oh, I know, its a bit bad isn't it? Its such a me thing to- I'm forever getting excited about projects- and then letting them slide with the next much more exciting thing (which at the moment is fantasy fiction writing- LOVE IT!).

I quite enjoy looking at blogs, and am often being disappointed at the many interesting bloggers who blog fairly regularly (getting onto my check every day list) only for them to drop back to semi-regularly. This means they move onto my "check if you have time" list! And here I am, doing exactly the same thing.

But I don't think I'm going to stop.

One- I want to be a follow-through girl! Its a life long aim and I'm working on it and maybe this will be the turning of the tide. Imagine, a Belinda who no longer dreams of things that might be but actually fulfills them. I know, its a beautiful thought ;)

Two-I've been thinking about the purpose of this blog- and the main purpose is to let my dear, dear friends in Melbourne know how I am going, and what I am learning. So this is a worthy aim- and is worth pushing through for.

Three- I think my underlying reason for "getting over" blogging is that I've lost confidence. My blog is not a serious, it's-my-key-ministry, carefully crafted work of art. So that's made me cautious about blogging. But I should just get over that- something doesn't have to be perfect to be worthwhile
(Incidentally- it would be an interesting post to discuss the amazing realisation I had two years ago that I am a perfectionist. Hmmm, put that on the to-do list!)

Four- I will probably get to enjoy it again sometime soon.

So, I will continue. A key point about creative writing that you hear all the time is that when you have writers block, just write rubbish and you'll find over time that the simple act of writing will pull you out of the hole. In the process of writing this I've come up with four different things I want to post on.

So maybe don't put me on your check once a year blog list yet ;)
love B

Kids Songs

Don't you just love Christian kids songs?

One of the many highlights of leading Sunday School this term has been taking the chance to sing songs. I've been putting on the CD regularly to learn the many songs I had never heard before (they like it modern in Sydney for some reason- they don't use the Old classics from my If-I-were-a-butterfly childhood!)- but that's just my excuse. I really love listening to them.

But its funny how simple and profound and real kids songs can be. One week we played a Colin Buchanan song "Be Strong and Courageous" all about how we can trust God to keep us safe- and I'm not sure what the kids thought about it but it got me and the other leader in tears!

I've been really enjoying teaching Sunday School- although its also been scary to try something new in ministry. I'd experienced kids ministry on beach mission and a kids clubs at my old church- but never the really little ones. They are so limited in what they can do physically and limited in what they can remember! They need to go to the toilet several times a lesson and the smaller girls sometimes burst into tears and cry for Mummy.

But they need to hear about Jesus and we tell them, and its great to see their eyes following along with awe when they hear stories of Jesus life for the first time. They will probably hear and read them many many more times (that is our prayer anyway). But how exciting to be the first to tell them!

Please pray for the kids and their folks. Many of the kids have parents who don't yet know the Jesus that their kids are becoming acquainted with. And pray for me, that I will carefully, faithfully, lovingly share Jesus with them. I have always been so thankful that I can't remember a time when I didn't love Jesus. And my prayer for these kids is that they will one day be able to say the same.
love B

Mustard Seed

Dear friends,
So sorry I haven't been writing. Life has run away with me at the moment- not that I've been only doing work (far from it...hehe) but blogging has unfortunately been a little low on the priority list. I will do a post on Saturday- but here is my reflections on the last week.

I was very struck by a quote that a guy giving lectures at College said. He was speaking on the concept of repentance- very academically but also very truely. He was speaking about the Pharasis and I was starting to feel a bit uncomfortable. I am a Pharases at heart (a sin I constantly have to fight against)- a lover of man made rules who loves to feel like "a good person". The quote he said was from CS Lewis and it was something like "We all secretly think that God made a very wise decision in choosing us".

Ouch! That's so me! I often forget my own sin in the business of serving God (ironic) and start to think that God owes me something for my service. Last week was a week where I got reminded again what a sinner I am. And this week was a week when I got reminded of the amazing grace of God- that he loves me and that he sent his son to die for me- knowing me for the sinner I am.

Its funny how people view us. I've been struck lately at the amazing faith that many of my friends have, the way that they stand firm on the promises of God even when going through intense suffering and feeling like my faith is so small and so fickled in comparison (particularly in my responses to prayers that don't get answered). But then I think, I bet people look at me and think I have great faith! I wonder if others feel the same?

This week was a week where I really did feel that my faith was as small as a mustard seed. But praise God, that is enough. Praise God!

God is so good. He is so good in so many ways. How is it that we can repent and be forgiven- how is it that God would save us? It is hard to comprehend but so beautiful to think about.

Amazing Grace.
love B

My hectic weekend and lazy day!

I had such a blue-sky day today! These are the days were I alternate between singing Christian kids songs and strange 70s love ballads. When the weather just seems to seep into my soul. They happen fairly sporatically, but usually occur more frequently when the spring approaches.

I think part of it was the fact that my hectic but good weekend was over. It was great and I wouldn't have changed it (except that it might have been nice to have my assignment done before it!)- but it is also nice to have a relaxing time to recover.

The weekend was hectic due to two great things: Tim's Mum visiting and the Faithful Writers conference.

Last year when I heard about this conference for Christian writers I was disappointed to be in the wrong state to go. So when I saw the facebook group associated with the conference I decided I must go.

But as the time approached I started to have my doubts. I figured it would be filled with lots of proper writers, deep thinking profound writers who wrote about important things- not a first year Theol student who dables in bad fantasy fiction and blogs about vegetables! I started to get scared- what if I didn't fit in? What if I leave thinking I should give up on writing? I love writing!

But it wasn't like that at all.

For one, there was very little in it about theological writing- most of the stuff related to poetry (which I can't do but I enjoyed hearing about) or fictional or reflective writing. Everything was very practical- there were some awesome tips which have answered some problems that I've had for a while in terms of how I write. And we were given 1 and 1/2 hours to do writing exercises- on great topics like "The ones who are closest to us are the ones who allude us" and "The time I almost gave up my faith". When I was younger i used to think by writing- as I've gotten older I've come to think by talking- but I forgot how exciting it was to try to take the essence of your heart at a particular time and capture it in a few pithy sentences.

And I was also struck by a profound thought. I don't need to write bad fantasy fiction. Just because its fantasy- doesn't mean that it has to be writen at a different quality to literature. I had a little go at reworking an old sentence from my story and it came alive. It gave me hope that I can do this.

So all in all it was a wonder experience- worth my grogginess today as I try to recover from no real day off this week.
love B

Slacker Belinda and the home to come

Sorry I've been such a slacker with Blogging.

Back at College, there is much to do, and at the moment I can only really devote myself to two forms of writing at the time. At the moment Doctrine Assignment and fiction writing is my priority. But I will try to make sure I still writer here at least once a week-maybe more if you are lucky :)

This week has been a wonderful week of learning. I love doctrine. I'm so used to being confused and secretly ashamed of complicated doctrines like the Trinity or the fact that Jesus was fully God and fully Man. But something I've been reminded of has been that these aren't bad things, or even unexpected things. These are the realities of serving such a great God, so beyond anything we could find on earth. We try to find examples in our world to represent the trinity (eggs, water...I'm sure you could add many more). But nothing quite matches the intricacies and perfection of the glorious trinity. We pull apart how it works that Jesus is both God and man, and while we learn from the process, we ultimately end by bowing at his feet. This week has been a week where I have constantly been turning to Romans 11:33-36

"Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgements,
and his paths beyond tracing out!
Who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has become his counselor?
Who has ever given to God,
That God should repay him?
For from him and through him and to him are all things.
To him be the glory forever!
Amen

Its also been a time of missing Melbourne, but being reminded that Melbourne, earth is not my home. Heaven is my home. I will serve God so much better if I come to truly acknowledge that.
Anyway, that's my thoughts again for the week.
lots of love,
B

Update on the health kick

Just an update on my health kick.


Practically speaking it is going well. I'm being pretty good, sticking to healthy meals and snacks- not pigging out when I go out to a restaurant. I've lost a few kilos.


Its also been quite an important personal step. I've always been a comfort eater, I love food, and I had a sneaky suspicious that I could never truely be self controled with food. So its nice to know that I can. I know it is God helping me to do it and I am so thankful to him for his help.


But it also has been really, really annoying.


It's horrible to see so much good food and not eat it- particularly at College where meals are provided for us so there is always healthy and unhealthy options. When I walked past the mini-sticky-date puddings at Tuesday dinner at college I wanted to scream.


I'm horribly self-righteous about it- mixing my utter frustration with self congratulation. Almost every time I deny myself something I want to run over to Tim and cry out "look at me, look at me. Look what I didn't eat!"


And one of the worst things is that these changes in diet are intended to be semi-permenant so I am saying goodbye (except for occasional splurges) to chips, pizza, and cheesecake. I hadn't realised how much I loved them until they were gone from my now vegie/fruit/legume filled life.


Well, after that rant I feel better. Afterall, all over the world there are people who eat to live rather than living to eat.
And God has lavished on me not only bread to eat, but the bread of life- and those who eat of it will never be hungry.

Puts everything into perspective doesn't it?

First day back

Oh its nice to be back.

I didn't think it would be. I'm still feeling a little down about leaving Melbourne and the previous week was so tiring that what seemed most appropriate to my mood was another holiday- not the beginning of a very full semester. But it was nice to be back.

I was excited to see the people I'd been looking forward to seeing. But there were many people who hadn't crossed my mind, and I had some really lovely "aha" moments of realising how much I appreciated them.

And studying? Well this week is going to be a busy week of work, and I realise it will take a while to get back into the lecture mindset (it was a morning of constantly telling myself- concentrate, concentrate!). But it is very very nice to sit down and listen to someone talking through the Bible in details, and I don't regret for a minute the relaxed manner of my break, even if it means more work now.

Challenge of the day from my classes? Do I have a living hope (from 1 Peter)? Do I live in a hopeful manner? Does the home of my inheritance that doesn't spoil or fade influence my heart. Definately my theology, mostly my decisions. But my heart? It did today. I pray it continues to.
B

Kids Club

Just wanted to give a quick thanks and an update on how kids club went.
It was great!

God was very kind and we had a great, tiring, rewarding time. It was particularly great for Tim who had never been involved in that kind of thing before, and was inspired and encouraged by the experience. We particularly enjoying writing and performing puppet plays each day! Its amazing how a kid will listen to a rag doll with a hand stuck up its back much more readily than to a grown up!

And the kids got to learn about how great our God is. So thanks for all of you who prayed. Please keep praying for the kids that came along that they and their households might come to know God. And pray for me as I am about to become a Sunday school teacher of the 3 to 5 year olds at our church. So excited (as you can imagine)!
love B

Time in Melbourne

So sorry I haven't post much. I've been on holidays!

I love being in Melbourne. I enjoy Sydney but I enjoy it because I am there for a purpose. I love Melbourne...not because of what I can do there but simply because its home.

But there are things that I love to do in Melbourne.

I love the walks around the paddocks in the Basin, or the beautiful houses and shops of Camberwell

I love entering the Grant house to the enthusiasm of Pippen the dog and the semi-polite indifference of Celeste the cat.

I love when the Griffith cousins come over and all the Griffith grandchildren (and attachments) play crazy games!

I love playing video games with my brother-in-laws assistance (he's so much more patient with my inability to fight virtual battles that my husband ;)

I love bumming in front of Foxtel trying to find the next episode of the Gilmore girls.

I love coffees and prayers with other chicks

I love dinner and deep conversations with Melbourne couple friends.

I love seeing how much bigger babies grow when you don't see them for three months (although thats a bit sad too)

I love going back to church and the looks on everyones faces who didn't know we were coming

This second time, coming back was harder than the first. The musty smell of the hospital was frustrating more than welcoming, and I feel a bit be-grudging that the weather is so much more beautiful here. But we are here for a purpose and its nice to trust a God who can get us through difficulties such as being away from so many people we love.

Tomorrow we start running kids club at church. It should be crazy and busy. But how cool is this- we have a room set up which is the firey furnace from the story in the book of Daniel with a...real smoke machine! How awesome is that!
Please pray for kids club- what an awesome chance to share Jesus with the kids of the Chatswood community.
love B

Long socks and Lasagna

I love Melbourne!

Two comments for you. One is from Gilmore Girls:
Emily: "Go for traditional vows. Make up vows can be so tacky. Shirley Martin (made up name)'s daughter vowed to cook her husband lasagna once a month. Now a word like lasagna should never appear at a wedding."
(note: Tim and I did make up our own vows)

Next is a philosophical point from my wonderful sister Sandy:
You can always push down long socks, but you can't pull up short socks to make them long.

I love Melbourne!

PS Capsicum is not a vegetable either.

Encouragement from the indigenous church

I am a real nerd.

I used to say that I was a real geek, but one of the first conversations I ever had with Tim was about the fact that I wasn't. Geeks are boys who play fantasy role playing games on their computers and own star wars figurines. Nerds are the ones who part their hair in the middle and love maths.

While I part my hair slightly to the side, and I enjoy maths only in moderation (not like my stats loving sister ;), I still think I classify as a nerd. Because I enjoy exams. I love the feeling of getting into to the room, the adrenalin rush that comes as you start writing madly, and that great feeling of relief that comes with the words "pens down". I also enjoy essay writing. The investigation, the time of discovery, seeing your ideas expressed, and best of all the art of the beautifully written concluding paragraph. Don't get me wrong. I am very, very glad to be on holidays. But as much as I procrastinate, when I sit down and actually do work, I love it.

Essays and Exams are heaps more fun now because I'm at Bible College and the process is not just intellectually fascinating but edifying. I know more about 1 Peter from writing an essay on it than I ever learnt from reading it, sitting in Bible studies on it, or hearing preaching of it. Not just knowing in the Western sense but knowing in that real, Biblical, experiential sense. It's a beautiful thing.

My latest essay was concerned with the history of the Aboriginal church, and most particularly how the missionary theories of Roland Allen (a Anglican minister and missionary from the turn of the last century) have impacted the situation here.

So much of the time, when I'm hearing news about the situation of Aboriginal people, its horrible, heart breaking news. What I hear on the news is always suffering. And what's more, the recent history of Indigenous Australia is so terrible. The killings, the attitude that said that this wasn't their land and they weren't even really human. It makes me sick, and it makes me sad. And it makes me sorry, because my ancestors were part of it.

But the blessing of this essay was that while my research showed me all these things, it also showed me so much more. Imperfect missionaries, who despite their mistakes worked so hard to save what was very much at the turn of the century a dying people. Indigenous Australians who heard the gospel and it transformed their lives. People who can't even really read English who nonetheless do their best to understand the one translation of the Bible they have. And most particularly, church communities that run things so differently to the communities that I have been apart of, but who are my brothers and sisters and share with me in the fellowship of the Spirit.

Please pray for the indigenous church. There are so many social issues within this community. But we know a God who can do immeasurably more than we can even imagine.
Belinda

Praying

Dear friends,
Recently I've been feeling a little helpless. I'm very aware that many people I care about are going through hard times. And there sometimes feels like there is nothing I can do. I am someone who likes doing things. Even if a situation is a wait and see situation, if there is something I can do about it, even if its only small, even if it might not make a difference, I want to do something. Sitting on my hands and waiting has never been my strong point. How hard it is when I know that if I was in the same state with people maybe I could at least do something to brighten their day, if I can't actually fix the problem.

But of course, this attitude is all wrong. Because I can pray. Praying, and placing it into the arms of our dear loving father is the best thing that I can do. Its funny how it doesn't always feel that way.

I remember a situation when I was at Monash CU. I met a girl during O-week who had grown up in a Christian home, but wasn't a Christian herself and who had been thinking about the gospel. We had a great chat, and I was really excited about the prospect of meeting with her to talk about Jesus. A week later I called on the number she left me. She had moved, and the relative I spoke to refused to give me her new number. She never turned up again, and I despaired because she needed to hear the gospel. I felt so helpless. So I prayed. For six months I prayed. After six months I bumped into her. Through a church she had joined she had become a Christian and she was so excited to share this with me. And I was reminded again that prayer is not a last resort. Its the most helpful, powerful thing we can do.

So dear friends, know that though I am far away and I can't always serve you in a physical sense, I am praying for you. And please pray for me. I need all the help God can give me to trust him, both with you and with my own circumstances and uncertain future.
love B
PS For the Sydney-siders reading- I am praying for you too, and I am thankful that I can help you in other, less crucial, but still important ways!

Love Languages

As many of you will know, this weekend is my big birthday weekend, as Tim turned 27 on Saturday and my sister turned 26 yesterday. It was hard to be away from Sandy and to not be there to celebrate with her, but hopefully we can do a bit of that when we are in Melbourne next week. Tim's birthday was a lovely day, we had some people from College round, I cooked lots of things that Tim liked, and we ended the night with ice-cream cake and the "hat" game (it appears to be the Sydney version of the name game).

I normally find Tim's birthday a bit stressful, really wanting to make it fun for him, but knowing I'm not always perfect at orchestrating the process. But praise God, my prayers were answered and Tim had a wonderful day. And a big part of this was to do with love languages.

If you've been hiding under a rock (that is no where near Koorong!) you may not have heard about the concept of love languages. It was a concept I'd heard of in the past and dismissed as one of those psudo-psychological fads that got wrapped up with a few out-of-context Bible verses, that really you could take and leave. But I have to say, I've found that book one of the most helpful for my marriage.

The books idea is that everyone has slightly different ways of expressing their love and things which make them feel loved, and they generally fit into 5 categories: Acts of Service (doing nice things), Gifts, words of affirmation, physical touch, and my personal favourite- Quality time.

The first half of the first year Tim and I worked for RMIT CU was a really tough time for me. As well as getting used to a new and emotional job, I also had to get used to a new Tim. Tim, under the pressure of so much people time, spent alot more time on his own. This to me felt like a rejection and I began to wonder things like "Am I just really boring company? Is he sick of me? Do I need to be more entertaining? Are we past the best stage in our marriage and now onto some mundain, putting-up-with-each-other stage?"

But half way through the year I finally bought the love languages book, and it helped me so much. I began to realise that as quality time was my love language, I assumed that Tim wanting Tim alone was all about me. It wasn't. Tim needed space, not because he didn't love being with me, but because he was an introvert who needed some time alone. But I also realised that I had to be really clear with what I needed. Tim could have his space, but I also needed time together- and not time hanging out with students together, or time watching TV together but actually time, talking, sharing, face-to-face. And what a difference it's made to us working that out!

Which brings us back to Saturday. Tim's love language is Gifts. He loves presents. He loves his birthday. So I feel a great deal of pressure to please him. This year he wanted a new pair of shoes, which we finally decided on, on Sunday. But what to give him on the day!

I decided to make a treat luckie dip. Each hour for about 8 hours of the day, Tim could draw one small present (chocolates, a big M, some socks he'd been wanting to get etc) out of his treat luckie dip. Tim just loved it, it wasn't complicated or expessive, but it was very him. And that, coupled with the fact that I was doing lots of "Acts of service" in preparation for company, which he also loved, meant he had a really lovely day.

Tim and I quite enjoy talking to other couples about their love languages and how they go about loving each other well. Our friend Matt from College came up to us and said that he's just discovered a sixth love language. Farting. But he said it didn't seem to be his wife Ros's language because she didn't seem to feel loved when he farted for her ;)

I'm so glad that's not Tim's love language!

The trial of being healthy

Several months ago I talked about Tim and I being on a health kick.

It didn't work. It never works (huge sigh)! So once again I try not to get dispirited as I try again. So far I've managed to give up hot-chocolates and cakes at College, and I'm endeavouring to give up ice-cream and chocolate. Which is good. But it's only a start. So I thought I'd open it up and see a) is anybody still reading ;) and b) does anyone have any particularly recipes for healthy, yummy, cheap meals. Lowish GI is my preference.

And why the picture? Reminds me of the good old days when I could eat ice cream. But really I just like it ;)

Please pray for me. I'm under doctors orders to loose some weight and I do find it a hard process. Pray that I will glorify God in all that I do.

God bless,

Belinda

procrastination

In honour of that great tradition of student procrastination and since I'VE FINISHED STUDYING FOR MY EXAM, YAY! I decided I'd give you a list of things people do and reasons people give for not studying

1) They go on facebook and say they are studying
2) They go on facebook and say they are procrastinating
3) They bake brownies and take them to their neighbours (that's in honor of our friends Ros and Matt- they were great brownies too!)
4) They organise their study notes
5) They plan a study timetable (that's me)
6) They write kids stories about their friends instead of studying(that's me again)
7) They stop studying early the night before the exam because they think if you study too close the exam then its craming and if you cram you don't retain any of the information you learn and you distract yourself from all the studying you did previously so that you actually forget the things you've tried previously to learn and so its really for the benefit of your exam result that you are doing other things instead of studying.


That last ones me. Right now.

Christian Charm students manual

My sister and I have been rather enjoying looking through a quaint little book that Sandy's friend found in an op-shop. It is called "Christian Charm Students Manual". Written in the sixties (can't you tell!), this little book details how you can be charming and beautiful "Inside and Out". It's so funny! There are thrilling entries like "Posing Pointers", "Is my posture lovely", "facial beauty from without", and my personal favourite: "As a Christian Girl, what should be my attitude towards my hair?"

As well as making us laugh- its actually been an interesting exercise in thinking about culture. In the sixties, at least according to this book, to dye your hair was all about drawing inappropriate attention to yourself and a "good Christian girl" wouldn't dream of it. Now we don't even think about it. I wonder what aspects of life we define as very important issues for being godly that are simply our Christian culture setting the norms. It also makes me wonder what real and important values we've thrown out the window simply because our wider culture doesn't see them as important.

I was reminded of this in a discussion over lunch at college about different television shows. Think about the way we watch TV. We cheer when our favourite couple finally sleeps together, we find ourselves hoping that the lie that was told will never be found out, and we celebrate when marriages we didn't like break up. As Christians, is it really appropriate to shut off our moral compass in the name of being entertained?

All interesting questions, much more interesting and relevant than how to have young looking hands! Though we probably shut off our moral compass when we think about beauty too; leting the world dictate what is important in that area also.

And how do I rate in the area of charm? Tim very kindly assured me when he read the charm book that I wasn't at all charming by sixties standards! Hmmm, makes be feel better about tricking him during the tofu incident ;)

Great Vegetable controversy Part 2

Now maybe Legumes aren't vegies (thanks Andrea!).

Maybe this is a ploy by very clever parents

Child: "But I don't like vegetables!"

Very clever parent: "Its not a vegetable darling, its a fruit/legume/root"

Reminds me of the time when Tim and I were on our honeymoon and I convinced him that ginger "bean-curd" would be an excellent choice for dinner- even though I knew he wouldn't agree to it if he knew it was actually tofu. Hehe, the power of a title!

Update on the vegetable controversy

Thanks by the way, Jean, for letting me know that Eggplant is also a fruit- and therefore can't be my new favourite vegetable.

I'd suggest a new favourite vegetable but I'm sure whatever I pick it will probably also be a fruit. Can anyone tell me something that is actually a vegetable- surely once you remove cucumbers, eggplants and tomatoes and their relatives you can't have many options left?

Incidentally- one of the funniest words in the English Language is Legume. My sister Sandy and I used to say it to each other to make each other laugh. Legume. I think they gave it a name that was so amusing because all of the worst vegetables fit into that category and they needed something to make the vegetables feel better about being very healthy but generally gross.
B

Restful days

I've been doing lots of writing and reading today- such fun! I'm so thankful to God that I've decided to make Saturdays a non-studying/relax day. Even though it sometimes makes for a busier week- its so nice to relax and enjoy life and my husband without the guilt hanging over my head of "shouldn't I be doing something productive".

So far today I've read a bit of the "The Art of Fiction Writing" (so interesting!), and done lots and lots of fiction re-reading: all of "The Horse and his Boy" (my favourite of the Narnia series although it always gets left out!), the last chapters of "The Last Battle" and several stories from L.M. Montgomeries "Further Chronicals of Avonlea". One of the most beautiful things about re-reading is that if you have time you can do it really quickly- brushing over the long bits and savoring the best. And you know exactly what you are going to get- which is lovely on a cold Saturday after a stressful week- when all you want to do is read about simple romances, nicely resolved family tentions and talking horses!

And I'm managed to write a first draft of the climatic ending to my fantasy trilogy. Now I just need to write the beginning and the middle of it!
I love Saturdays.

Who, Who, Who?

This week has been a real week of missing Melbourne, of feeling the pull of being out of the lives of people I care about, of longing and praying for family. It has also been a week of watching different people I care about struggled with all kinds of grief and suffering. Its been a week of asking lots of questions to God.

But its also been a week where nothing has felt academic. Where the simple truths of doctrine have come alive: God is a God who does not change, who can't be manipulated by man, that humans very humanity is wrapped up in the God who created them in his image. Where sermons have been real and raw: That God's sovereignty is a blessing because who else would I want to control my life, that we have assurance in Christ, that familiarity with what God is like he should transform our lives. It is a week where Church history has inspired and challenged, where questions have been solved about how best to understand God's word, and where Greek has felt like unwrapping a present rather than solving an equation.

It is a week where questions of why, why, why have been turned on their head. Because its not why, why, why- those questions are not answered until heaven. But it is a question of who, who, who and the answer is Jesus.

And it is a week where I have once again concluded that I have the best husband in the whole-wide-world. A husband who comforts and cares and loves and supports. But most importantly- a husband who always turns my head back to the cross and saviour. When I look at all the uncertainty of life and say: "I'm not strong enough" his answer is not "Yes you are", but "None of us are, but God is".

"The heavens praise your wonders, O LORD,
your faithfulness too, in the assembly of the holy ones.
For who in the skies above can compare with the LORD ?
Who is like the LORD among the heavenly beings?
In the council of the holy ones God is greatly feared;
he is more awesome than all who surround him.
O LORD God Almighty, who is like you?
You are mighty, O LORD, and your faithfulness surrounds you.
You rule over the surging sea;
when its waves mount up, you still them."
Psalm 89:5-9