A new year

You can tell you are having a roaring NYE when you are writing on your blog at 10:42!

Actually, I recon it's just about perfect. I'm hanging out at Tim's folks house, there is a beautiful rainy breeze wafting through the fly-screen, Lord of the Rings is being watched now that Back to the Future is over and i am downloading photos to facebook so that I can free up the camera to take photos in NZ. I have never been a big NY party person, and I think, with our trip starting tomorrow i really just wanted a quiet night.

My New Years resolution was to Morn with those who morn and to be joyful with those who were joyful.

I think I did it. Or at least I got better at it which I guess was what I was really aiming for.

I don't know how to think about next year. I know it could be good and i know it could be hard. This year was. And in fact, knowing what know about Life and God and the world I suspect both will be true.

My aim for this year i think is pretty simple. I just want to keep serving God, keep serving Tim, keep serving the people of Chatswood Baptist. It may not sound very grand or exciting, but sometimes it's the simple things that are the hardest and the most important things.

I don't know what this year will hold. But I suspect the first 10 days will be awesome!
New Zealand here we come!
love B

Family

I've been thinking a bit about family lately. Not that this is complete surprise, given we are staying in Melbourne and it's Christmas time.

We've got to spend lots of time with Grandparents. Photos seem to be a bit of a theme. Nan and i got out the photos from when I was little. "You were so lovely. So friendly and happy. Don't know what happened!" Grandma and Grandpa feel sad because though we always take photos they are always digital. They want something they can hold in their hand or put in an album to remind them of the years that been. That for them is a big part of how they cling to us when we are often far away. I'm printing some out this week for them.

Tim and I were given a great honour as some of our dear Melbourne friends asked us to be the God parents of their soon to be born child. They said they wanted God Parents who would be godly models that they wanted their child to emulate. It's one of those compliments that makes me feel both very happy and unworthy.

On Christmas Eve night we had our first Christmas party of just the immediate Grant family. Tim's parents, us, and his siblings and their respective attachments. Elise Tim's sister said "It's so much more fun now. Their used to be only three of us, but now I have two sisters and a husband." I get a bit teary when I think about those words.

People always talk about "Do you have a family?" or "Starting a family". I get really, really mad when i hear that. It seems to imply that because Tim and I are as yet to have children that somehow we are not really a family, that we don't fit into that category because there are only two of us. That we are not in and of ourselves legitimate.

But it's even more than that. Do I have a family? YES. I have the most marvellous, wonderful family! I have brothers and sisters and Aunties and Uncles and Cousins and Children and parents and Grandparents. Some are because of the blood in my veins, some are because of the wonderful man that I married. Some are because of dear relationships with Christian brothers and sisters.

And I am so thankful.
love B

Christmas Cooking

WARNING TO FAMILY MEMBERS- CHRISTMAS TREAT SPOILER ALERT!!!!

When Tim and I first started working in ministry- it occurred to me that Christmas cooking would be a cheaper way to deal with the struggle each year to scrounge together enough money for all the gifts. So, with every Christmas magazine I could find at the time, I pulled together a list of interested Christmas gifts to make for relatives. As my sister and my Mum are not sweet tooth's and so wouldn't be such fans of that kind of thing- I recruited them to help with the process. And so a tradition has been born.

I love it. I love the process of choosing what we do. And I love the chance to cook with and for my dear families.

The first item on the agenda was biscotti- as I felt like giving our "present plates" a sophisticated edge. One thing I learnt from my collection of I think about 8 different Christmas magazines is that almost anything can be Christmasy if you just have the right ingredients or colours. Cranberry and Pistachio biscotti- surprisingly easy!

Second item was another "Not-really Christmas but we can just make it green and red and no one will mind" item. Turkish delight! I'm a little nervous about it's chances (last i heard it was still yet to set), but the idea was so cool that we couldn't resist!

Candy Cane merrange (sp). We were a bit sceptical about whether we could match the cool red food colouring swirls that the magazine suggested- but I think they turned out pretty good.

And finally- the truffles. Sandy had organised some of her youth group girls to join us on cooking day- it was lovely to meet them and it great having them on board

Have I mentioned lately that I love Christmas?

love B

The Lasagna sandwich

Well, we are on holidays and in Melbourne and it is less than a week until Christmas.

Writing those words- you would probably think I would be welled up with joy. And I will be. Just. Not. Yet.

I'm still in recovery.

I'm still in recovery from two weeks of Christmas craziness at church, the two and a half mad days of packing, 5 hours of steady cleaning and then 10 hours of driving.

Something I observed and was pointed out to me while I was working for RMIT is that after an intense period of work it takes a few days for me to properly relax and in fact for the first few days I often feel emotional and miserable. And while being in Melbourne is keeping off the misery and I am very tired and very, very emotional.

We stopped at my Grandparents for the night last night, and I was so happy to see them but also felt down to know that it had been a whole year since I had seen them! That just seems too long and it was unsurprising but still sad that my wonderful Grandmother (who is starting to loose her memory) kept referring to me by the names of the female Grandchildren who she actually does see on the regular basis :(

But we had lasagna for tea, so that made me feel a bit better.

Several years ago, actually its probably more like 7 years ago, I mentioned to my Grandma that I liked lasagna. From then on, any time I went to her house there was always lasagna. And I mean always. Our family would arrive and Grandma would have a lovely dinner made for us, and then she would pull me aside and say "Bindy, there is also some lasagna here for you if you would prefer it". And there in the fridge would be the two lasagnas she had made especially for me to get me through the time we would be staying with them. Even as her memory has been fading, my love of lasagna has somehow stayed with her.

But my favourite was when Tim and I were driving down to Melbourne or up to Sydney one time and Grandma made us sandwiches to take with us. I took a bite. It was absolutely delicious, but like no sandwich I've ever had. So I opened it up.

She had made me a Lasagna sandwich
love B

Packing

I hate it.

I hate it with a passion.

That's all

Too much of myself in my story

"It's just such a Bindy story!"

This was the statement that stuck out of a conversation between myself and Tim. After a week where I moved from work, to packing to sleeping and back again for Four days straight- Tim and I had a well deserved date night. We found a little path by one of the many gorgeous bays of our adopted city and walked and talked. It was lovely.

As sometimes happens, our conversation turned to my story. I had been getting into writing again (the inspiration always seemed to hit when there are less fun jobs like packing to do), and Tim was asking questions about the story.

As Tim is the only one I tend to discuss the particulars of my story with, I really value that time. Idea's rise and fall in those conversations- as saying things out loud that seem really great in my head often put them in a harsher and truer light.

Now Tim is quite happy to leave the novel writing of the relationship to me- but he actually very perceptive about creative things. He's also easily bored (lucky I'm such an exciting person!) and so he knows what draws you in- because it needs to be a page turner or a really fascinating story in order for him to keep going.

His comment about it being a "Bindy" story was explained something like this. "You like to be happy. And so you write things that would make you happy, that would make you go "ahhh". Your characters are always asking questions, because you love questions. You want to love all your characters, so you make them all good, or pretty good, and then just make one or two really bad. But you don't read a novel because the whole things makes you happy. Things have to annoy you, things have to shock you, things have to make you cry. Otherwise there is no suspense"

So true!

I remember when i was in my early teenage years my sister commented that in anything I write my main characters were always exactly the same as me. An old novel I started writing at Uni was written from the perspective of four very different girls and their take different takes on their life events and friendship. It began not as a novel at first but as an exercise to teach myself how to write in different voices. It was an awesome experience, to take a known weakness in my style and skills and just throw myself at the task of beating it.

So my next challenge is to make my story less "Bindy" and more sad, annoying, shocking and suspenseful ;)

love B
PS Bindy is my family nick-name- in case that whole post didn't make sense!

Avoiding a Martha Christmas, and having a Mary Christmas ;)

I love Christmas. I am a total Christmas junkie! I love carols, I love lights, I love the smell of fresh pine wafting through the house. And I love the Christmas story- because it's not just a story it is true and when I remind myself of that I get overwhelmed with amazement at my incredible God.

This year though I am finding myself sliding into a very Martha Christmas. Martha is the sister who was so busy serving that she didn't have time to sit at Jesus feet and listen. Her sister Mary however just sat at Jesus' feet to listen And as I sit here this morning getting ready to wrap 50 odd presents for the kids at church, and ice some thank you gingerbread biscuits for my beautiful, beautiful team of Sunday School teachers- I am tending to think of Christmas as a chore rather than a point of celebration

Ironically I am spending most of my time working hard so that other people do see the true meaning of Christmas- I'm just so busy doing it that I'm forgetting myself. But I don't want a Martha Christmas. I want a Mary Christmas ;)

So, I thought I'd post up some special memory of Christmas that I have, some serious some not- to get my mind back in the right frame.

-Sandy and I loved Christmas time, because suddenly their was a whole new realm of pretend play opening up for us. We would spend hours under the Christmas tree, pulling off the angels and taking them on little adventures

-Mum and Dad and Sandy always kindly set aside my two favourite jobs for me to do- and even as an adult they sometimes still do. I was the one who put the star on the top of the Christmas tree, and I was the one who set out our nativity scene. The nativity scene was made in Bethlehem and was unpainted, wooden and simple. I loved it because it seemed so much closer to what the Bible says than the usual Mary in her beautiful blue robe and Jesus with blond hair.

-My sister was in Israel a few years ago and bought me my own little wooden nativity scene. I am so excited about bringing it out for my Playtime kids on Tuesday and giving them a sense of the simplicity and preciousness of the first Christmas.

-My favourite time of Christmas, funnily enough, was always Christmas Eve rather than Christmas. Christmas Eve had such a sense of anticipation. It was also when we went to church- and that to me was when Christmas went from just another holiday to something special. I remember a late night service at the small church near my Grandparents farm. We sang all those beautiful Christmas Carols and then we walked home under a sky full of country stars. I looked up and imagined the star of Bethlehem- gleaming to show the Magi the way.

-But my most precious Christmas memory wasn't even at Christmas. One night when I was Fourteen (I don't even know if it was December), I remember I was lying in bed and I couldn't sleep. I remember thinking about Mary, who someone had told me was probably very young when she had Jesus, because that's when people got engaged or married in those days. I thought to myself Mary might have been my age. It spun me out so much that I sat up in bed. I looked down into my arms and imagined a little baby in them. And then it struck me. Mary wouldn't just have held a baby. She was holding Jesus. She was holding God! God had become a baby. That was when I finally started to understand.

Immanuel. God with us.
Mary Christmas,
love B

New Every Morning

This week is, and is going to be a hard week.

In a week like this, I find myself asking the question- what does scripture have to say to me in life's difficult times? What can I turn to for comfort? Or often it's not that articulate and thought out- I just pick up my Bible and cry out "Help".

And as often happens, the verse that as a church we are memorising this month, the very verse that Tim and I did a kids talk on this last weekend, was the one i needed to hear. The verse we had was Lamentations 3:22-23- but I'll give you the context. May it comfort you in whatever situation God has placed you in.
Love B

19I remember my affliction and my wandering,

the bitterness and the gall.
20I well remember them,

and my soul is downcast within me.
21 Yet this I call to mind

and therefore I have hope:
22 Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;

therefore I will wait for him."
25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,

to the one who seeks him;
26 it is good to wait quietly

for the salvation of the LORD.
27 It is good for a man to bear the yoke

while he is young.
28 Let him sit alone in silence,

for the LORD has laid it on him.
29 Let him bury his face in the dust—

there may yet be hope.
30 Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him,

and let him be filled with disgrace.
31 For men are not cast off

by the Lord forever.
32 Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,

so great is his unfailing love.
33 For he does not willingly bring affliction

or grief to the children of men.

Photos of my life Part 1

Well, one of the things that Tim and I bought with our airport voucher was a camera.
We are very excited about, and some of my excitement I have to say is that I can finally have photos on my blog. Not that I'm going to have many I'm sure- I'm just not a super photo person, but I am excited that at least you can see some pictorial evidence of my life.
I wanted to do a day in the life of Belinda, but of course I forgot to take photos for much of it- so here's just a taste!:

My train trip across the habour bridge. It isn't a particularly good photo but you get the ide

I don't know if you can tell- but the scary looking man at Luna Park Sydney is raising awareness of Men's Health this Movember :)
After Mainly Music on Wednesday myself and some of the church Mums who attend/help went out for Japanese. This is four year old Samuel trying to avoid getting his photo taken. Samuel is my good buddy- he's a shy little boy but he loves "Tim and Alinda". His Mum Nicole started coming to Mainly Music last year, and eventually became a Christian. She is getting Baptised this Sunday- which we are all very excited about!

This is where I spend most of the day- Chatswood Baptist Church. It's a wonderful place, and particularly a wonderful place to do kids ministry as it is something that the whole church cares about and is behind. This particularly day was spent on Mainly Music, Talking Nicole through what would be happening with her Baptism, emailing people about their involvement in ministry next year, and preparing for my last scripture lesson of the year.

The beautiful roses in the Memorial garden near the station- with a train behind. I'm just heading home after a very tiring day. Self Portrait on the train!

Oh, and on an unrelated note- here's a picture of my spunky husband taken by someone who actually is a photo person!

Love B

God is...

How would you respond?

I asked my scripture class what we had learnt about what God is like this year.

Two of the girls (using the black-eyed pea song) described him as...

G. L. A. M. O. R. O. U. S.

hmmm.....

Cooking

Cooking for me started as a chore, became a joy, moved onto a therapy, and is now (most of the time fun)

When I first got married I was a jar kinda girl. Kanton was my dear and sweet friend. I can't quite pin point what changed it- the cool and exciting gadgets that sat on our wedding present table- calling out for use? The ever appreciative hubby who decided for some reason I still haven't figured out that I am the best cook in the world (so much easy to cook when you get appreciation)? The not so healthy wish that rose up in me to be a domestic goddess like I believed all my other married friends were? But somehow I started to take it seriously and discovered in the process that I loved it.

Then I started working in ministry- and cooking became a kind of life line. Why? I didn't figure it out at first, but then I read a book or heard a talk or something from someone who had started ministry and developed a great love of woodwork. Ministry for him, and for me- was one of those strange occupations where there are no output targets, no reports due in that are accepted or rejected. Yes, you could get to the end of a Bible study and say- that was a good Bible study or that was a bad Bible study but it's not really the point. Ministry is about people, about loving people and showing them Christ- and what they do with it, well that's actually not your part of it. It is open ended and uncertain- and it's often long after you've finished that you actually find out what impact you have had.

So in that world- I needed cooking. I needed a recipe to follow. I needed a task that took half an hour to 45 minutes and had a result, either it was burnt or it wasn't, either Tim wanted to me to cook it again or leave it off the menu forever. There was something so wonderful about that and in the first 6 months of ministry it was a bit of a lifeline.

I was reminded of these things watching Julie and Julia. This movie (which was great by the way- so nice to see a movie that was so positive about what marriage can be!) carried similar sentiments as Julie realised how special cooking was to her, that no matter how hard or awful her day had been, she could always come home and cook. It was a certainty and a joy.

And I still love cooking, even though now I am more used to ministry, more used to trusting God with the unknown, and better able to judge my efforts on my faithfulness rather than on my results. I am also more aware that when God in his kindness and goodness changes some one's heart, it has very little to do with me and so much more to do with him.

But it is still nice to come home to my temperamental stove, my 100s of cooking magazines, and my pantry full of spices- and know exactly what I'm getting into.
love B

Sick and writing

I'm sick again! It's a combination of nose/throat, a slight temperature, and vomiting/nausea. The nausea is (I'm hoping) partly due to some antibiotics I'm taking for a stomach parasite (does the fun ever end with me?), so should go away once I finish the ABs at lunch time.

It's so annoying! And it's compounded by the fact that I always feel ill if I sit up for long periods of time. So I will try to get this post down before my next trip to the couch.

I thought now would be a good time to set down my novel writing goals so that (for once) I might stick to them.

This is the plan...

My aim is to get the first draft of my novel done by December 2010. That's right- 13 months time. I think this is manageable if I get cracking. I'm probably almost half way there at the moment, and so 13 more months should do it.

Part of the aim of Dec 2010 is that I can then set aside 2011 (our last year in Sydney) as the year to actually go about seeing if anyone wants to publish it. The more I read about it, and as I look back on advice received in my creative writing course at Uni- there is more to getting published than just writing a book and sending it out. You need to get your name out there by entering writing competitions, connecting with local writers organisations and finding an agent who can sell the manuscript for you. 2011 will be the year for starting that process. I also like the idea of giving that task a solid year of my life so that...if it turns out that my novel (in it's 2011 form) is not up to scratch, I have a date where I can come to that conclusion and remake it or start something else, or move on.

Scary.

One of the biggest tasks I have to do, which is currently leading to a fair bit of writers block- is to really pin down what I want to overall story (across the trilogy I'm planning to write) to be. At the moment I keep rethinking things, adding extra characters just for the fun of it, and adapting my current story based one what I would like to happen in the next two. I really need to work out exactly what will happen in the future books so I can in some ways set them aside to really concentrate on the one novel.

Alright, time to lie down again.
love B

Places

If there is one thing I hate more than cleaning it is packing!

And this pack will be one of the hardest of all.

Because we are moving from a ridiculously large three bedroom place with no cupboards to a tiny 2 bedroom place with a cupboard at every turn. So we are going to be throwing out so much stuff and I hate doing that! And I know no matter how much Tim convinces me to throw out, I will not throw enough out so when we get to the box-unpacking stage we will be throwing out even more stuff so that our study doesn't end up being the box/junk room.

But the other thing that will be hard is that we are leaving.

I am such a place person. I get attached to places. I love places. It's been over 12 years since my Grandparents sold their farm and yet I try not to thinking about it much even now because I ache so much for it. And even though I'm really excited about moving into College housing, my heart already aches for this place. For the high ceilings and the big windows. For the strange nooks and the musty smell. For the mess that as accumulated in a way that I'm happy with.

I'll miss the trip up to the laundry and the strange little car-park. I'll miss the check-out people at the local store who I see enough to have them smile when they see me walk in.

I'll miss my walk- under the railway line, pass the shops, up to Parramatta road and past the dress shops!

I'll miss Stanmore and even though it is within walking distance of where we will live it will not be the same.

And in two years time I will feel exactly the same about our tiny two bedder.

It's times like these when I need to remind myself that my home is in heaven. And one day I will go there and never have to leave (or pack!) again.
love B

Engaged!

I am so very excited!

Tim's "little" brother (he's the tallest in the family!) has just gotten engaged to his girlfriend Angie. Angela is not only one of the 6 people who read my blog ;) but she is also a dear friend and I am so excited that she is going to be my sister!

Congratulations Joel and Angie! My prayers are with you as you prepare for your big day and your life together to come.

Wish I could be there with you to celebrate! Weeks like this are the hardest ones to be away!

love B

Slug Sluggard

As long time readers of this blog would note- one of the first rude shocks that awaited us on our arrival to Sydney was Cockroaches. Tim and I, it might surprise you, are not the worlds biggest fan of these little critters. In fact, we don't like them very much. And while my fear levels have diminished somewhat (through over exposure) we are very glad to find that for some reason, despite the hot weather, the cockroach population of Stanmore have decided against taking up residents at our house. We are not sure if it's because of our super sonic cockroach repelling beeping machine, or just because we don't leave food scraps around (as much).

But a new friend from the disgusting brotherhood of bugs has taken over.

Slugs!

Now, about 3 months ago, in the dead of winter we began to have slug sightings. Now, I have to admit that I don't like slugs very much. Strange hey, what's not to like? But seriously, the worst thing is that in order to kill them by squashing, you have to put up with a squelch. I hate the squelch.

Thankful the slug sightings have reduced, but we now have an even more disturbing problem.

Slug trails.

You know those shiny trails that slugs and snails leave on the ground that look kinda pretty in the sunshine? They don't look so pretty in your house. Particularly because you know exactly where the slugs have been hanging out while you've been sleeping

These are the sightings I've recorded so far:

-On the lino (not so bad)
-On the carpet (again, not so bad but...)
-On any tea-towel I leave on the kitchen bench
-On any sponge I leave in the sink
-On my cake cooling rack.

Does anyone know where I can get a super sonic slug repelling beeping machine?

Of course, I could just clean the kitchen more thoroughly so that the bugs won't in anyway be attracted to the bench?

But I'm a sluggard.
love B

A six year olds view of the cross

It's been a great week for fun comments from kids.

My Grade 5 kids told me off for describing the promise land as "nice" because "nice is not a Grade 5 level descriptive word Mrs Buzz, it doesn't give you enough information".

I changed my description to "beautiful" and "fertile" but it turns out that "fertile" is a Grade 6 level word because they didn't know what it meant ;)

But my favourite was from 6 year old Angelina at church camp.

We were standing at a camp fire. Above the campfire the campsite had erected the most ginormous cross- at least 12 foot tall and probably 9 foot wide.

Angelina: "I wonder if that was the cross that Jesus died on"

Belinda: "No, I don't think it was. But I think they put it up to remind us that Jesus died for us".

Angelina: (Angelina nodded enthusiastically- then turned back to look at the cross) "WOW, Jesus must have been HUGE!"

Belinda Block

I've been hit with a bad case of a certain type of writers block.

It's not actually writers block because I'm still working on my novel.

It is not only blog block- it's also facebook status block.

It's the strangest of all blocks because for the first time in my life: I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY ABOUT MYSELF!!!!!.

Me! BG. I normally love talking about myself! The highlight of working at RMIT CU was the 6 monthly review where Heather and I spent the whole day...and often part of the next, talking about- you guessed it: ME!

I'm an attention seeker. And when I discovered facebook- where 500 of my closest personal friends could hear about ME whenever they wanted- I was in heaven.

But now...I'm starting to find myself a bit boring.

My life has fit into a nice little pattern. I'm pretty happy with what I'm doing and how I'm going. But there isn't really much to say about it.

I could talk about stuff I do. I could tell you about my novel or the latest episode of Battlestar Galactica that I"m watching. I could tell you of what the kids at church are saying or the conversations that I've been having with friends.

I could.
But not today.
I have Belinda Block
love B

How cool is this!

How cool is this?

Tim and I won a prize yesterday (well Tim won it but one-flesh and all that means I get to share!)

We get to have a shopping spree at Sydney Airport.

Tim and I were talking about how it's such an unusual, fun prize.

Because if we just won the money, we might just put it in savings, or put it towards some kind of regular expense (like paying for my new dust mite allergy)

If we had a shopping spree at a normal shopping centre we would probably buy a few treats but mainly practical stuff.

But the Airport doesn't do practical stuff.

It does designer clothes

It does fancy jewlergy

It does expensive sunglasses

It does funky electronic gagets.

So even though it would probably be better if we could use it for practical stuff, in some stage way its a treat that we can just use it on stuff we would ordinary never buy for ourselves.

So, Tim and I are going to set aside a day- where we will eat at the foodcourt, make our way around the airport- and spend up some free money.

Pretty cool hey!
love B
PS On a serious note we are very thankful to God for this surprise. It's been funny, as I've said previously I've been thinking lots about suffering and how it works, and the importance of not jumping to conclusions about why God does what he does. But when things like this happen- it's a nice reminder that God does like to give good things to his children. Sometimes it's tough things that make us grow more like him. But once in a while...it's something fun like this!

Medical Answers

I have just found out the the hives that I have been experiencing are due to dust mites.

Such a relief!

Such a relief that I don't have to give up any foods that I love :)


I went on the following website to work out what I should do- as my appointment with the dermitologist to talk about my results won't be for a few weeks yet.
http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/

It is actually an awesome website. It has facts sheets on lots of different medical issues, and unlike most stuff on the internet it's usually researched based stuff.

But as I read the sheet I had all these little "kerching" sounds in my head- imagining the sound that old fashion cash registers made when they open. Because there will be some expenses involved.

At first- small simple ones:
-A micro fibre duster so that it traps dust and dust mights rather than letting them into the air like a feather one would.
-Dust mite resistant bed covers
-Washing bedsheets once a week with eucalyptus oil infused cleaning products (not really a kerching- but definately time consuming!)

And long term:
-Buy leather lounges
-Synthetic pillows and doona
-Venetian blinds
-Get rid of carpet where-ever we end up living.

But the plus!

Tim now needs to do all the vaccuming- with me safely out of the house!
:)
love B

Writing

Dear Friends,
It's been a crazy week of writing. In the space of this week I've written about 13 pages of my novel. That may not seem like a big deal to those who've never written one- but it was just an amazing slog for me- who had been re-writing so much that I had completed 2 pages in the previous 2 months!

Oh I love it, I love it, I love it.

I love writing a scene completely from scratch- where I just get to a section of the story with a gap and I just write. And then I look at it surprised and say "Wow, so that's what happened! So interesting and unexpected".

I love putting into words scenes and realities that have been sitting in my head for often over a year and seeing them finally make their way onto my computer screen.

And its scary because now I'm starting to think I can't just comfort myself that I'll probably get sick of it and move onto another story soon. If things keep going as is some day I will actually have the first draft of a novel. And then I will have to do something with it- like find an agent or approach a publisher. And that is very, very scary.

I always wanted to be an author. Even now- I'm constantly coming up with new ideas for stories, or even non-fiction works.

This week I've been thinking alot about suffering, which is a little ironic because it's been such a beautiful week! I think to be honest that is part of the reason I can think about it- I find it hard to be introspective and thoughtful about things when I'm going through them.

I've been thinking about how so much of my life I've been faced with suffering and my attitude has been "wait, God will make it all better soon". And yet the more I look around me- I see that this is not how it works. Some suffering lasts a life-time. Life is not always filled with moment of "Oh, so that's why God let that happen!" Sometimes it is. Often it isn't.

I would love to write a book about how to think about what we can expect from the Christian life. The good and the bad. And also what are things that we are often programed to expect (like easy answers as to what God is doing) and more helpful ways of thinking about them. I'd like to write a book that is positive and uplifting and realistic.

One more to add to the list.
love B

Answered prayer

We got offered a College unit and are very, very happy.

Today I was walking along, and for the first time in ages I noticed again the roses that line the walkway from the station to the church.

Why is it that when I'm happy, things that make me happy appear everywhere?

Why is it that when I"m not I don't even notice them?

Curious.

love B

Dealing with uncertainty

I hate uncertainty.

I hate it with a passion.

Most of the time i deal with it, following my mothers advice and trying to see it as "an adventure".

Most of the time I tell myself that God is in control and that even if I don't know what is going to happen, God does and that should bring me comfort.

Most of the time I can cope with it.

Not yesterday.

Yesterday I spent the whole day stressing, assuming that it would be the day we would find out if College had a place for us to live next year. You see, they don't have enough for everyone, so you apply- write a letter about your circumstances and hope for the best.

I spent the whole day stressing, until I got the call from Tim saying that they couldn't tell us yet.

It's not just the housing thing. It's everything. So much uncertainty. In everything. My future plans always start with: "If this happens, then this". I hate it. And I couldn't cope.

I woke up this morning. Tim's sister and her husband were staying with us. It was fun. They really like the place that we live. I felt a bit better.

I was so stressed about where we would live when we first moved up. And this place has been a huge blessing.

(Sigh)

I hate uncertainty. Please God help me to keep trusting you through it. Amen

Update

Well, well, well- this blog has been pretty low on my priorities these last few weeks!

In fact, I keep toying with the idea of canning it- as the reality of things like blogs is- if you don't write regularly people stop reading, and when people stop reading...then motivation to write gets a little low. But I think I'll keep it up, for those of you who still read it, and in the hope that one day I might actually get into the habit of writing more, I'll get more people reading it, and so on.

What's been happening?
MELBOURNE!!! Times Two in fact.

Our trip down to Melbourne was lovely. Absolutely lovely. To give you a sense of how good it was, Tim had been talking it down for weeks, because he knew that often when I look forward to something I get such high expectations that when it happens I'm bound to be disappointed. But not this time. Melbourne was so much better than I expected.

It wasn't hectic, or at least, I didn't find it hectic! By other people's standards it might have been seen to been a tad people heavy! But it was perfect for me. We had some great catch ups with friends, we had some lovely family time, and we had some lovely Tim and Belinda time- including a trip down to our old favourite haunt: The Snooty Fox.

A personal highlight for me was a small but significant one. Some of our dear friends in Melbourne are a couple that got married two weeks before us, and who went to church with us for many years, and who we used to spend a great deal of time with. They have two kids, a 3 year old and a one year old- and I was a little worried that after 8 months their three year old daughter Luella wouldn't quite remember us, (just one of the prices that you pay for moving interstate and not visiting as often as you like). But while Luella was a little shy when she saw me at church, when we came to their house, she was in the bath and wanted to see me so she began to yell out across the house "BBBBEEEEELLLLIIIIINNNNDDDDDAAAA, BBBBEEEEELLLLLLIIIIIINNNNNDDDDDDAAAAAA!" So cute and very nice to know even our littler friends haven't forgotten us!

The week back was hard for various reasons, one of them being I was home sick. Tim was also stressed about his essay he had due the following Tuesday.

But bless is cleverly-hidden-until-now-academic-side, Tim has an amazing capacity to write essays very fast. He began actually writing late on Sunday and still had 2500 words to go on Monday morning. He got home at 2 and started work. One minute he was planning on missing class on Tuesday to hopefully finish it off, the next minute he was suggesting I proof read he work. He got it done so early we could spend the evening watching Stargate Atlantis. My clever, clever boy!

And then, then it was off to Melbourne to see my Sainters take on Geelong- thanks to my incredibly generous parents. It was a lovely family time- as Dad had been away two weeks before, and our time with Mum had been limited to breakfast at the airport before she joined him! It was a fantastic game- with a not so fantastic result. As Tim reminded me though, as I dejectedly dissected the game, in a world (or city at least) where sport is the main idol, it is great to have a relationship with the real God that puts everything in perspective.

And, funnily enough, after an Afternoon in the rain and cold, I find myself sick at home with the first proper cold I've had all year.
So that has been the last m0nth.
Prayer points: Please pray I get better, pray I have a productive forward thinking time as I work through the school holidays (no formal programs so good time to prepare for the term/year ahead). And pray that I trust God with my health, my future and my job.
And Thank him for a fantastic time in Melbourne
love B

48 hours

Before I go to Melbourne:

-I need to cook dinner for 11 tweens/teens/us

-I need to shave my legs

-I need to take 9 teens/tweens to the movies

-I need to drop one teen off home

-I need to clean the house

-I need to clear out the fridge of perishables

-I need to dress for a wedding

-I need to buy a birthday present for my sister-in-law and her husband

-I need to empty the bin

-I need to go to a wedding, help set up flowers, and go to the reception.

-I need to send 3 work emails

-I need to do a load of washing

-I need to pack

-I need to sleep at least twice!

-I need to get up at around 5:30 to be ready to catch a plane at 7am

I need to do all these things. But before I do, I'm going to spend half an hour reading a book. I don't know if I have time.
But I don't care.

I really need to.
love B

Writing Update

I've discovered a new way to write. On the train.

In many ways its an old way to write. In a box, that sits under two other boxes in the study, are notebooks filled with writing done on the trains, years and years ago. But until a few weeks ago, writing my novel on the train wasn't something I thought to do.

Now I love it. I love it because it's otherwise bludging/reading MX time and so its not like the "I'm too busy" excuse can come out. And I love it because work has been a tad stressful of late and so having something fun and engaging to keep me occupied on the train when I could be stressing puts a really lovely spin on the working day.

But one of the best benefits is that on the train I spend more time writing than reading- and so I get allot of new stuff done.

When I sit down on the computer to write, inevitably I find myself reading over what I've already done. And fixing it up. And reading some more. And getting sucked into the story.

This might seem weird (as I wrote the thing), but just like I love re-reading old books, i actually enjoy the journey back into my world, and reliving the events again. In fact, I'm ashamed to admit it, but when I'm on the computer I read a great deal more than I write. It means keeps getting edited, which is good. It means that sometimes I get discouraged if I read a bit I don't like as much- which can sometimes lead to weeks on end where I think I can't write so I don't.

I'm getting better at fighting this discouragement. It's been helpful hearing that other writers feel this way. And I try to push myself to think "Okay, it's sounds bad, how can I make it better?" And the editing process starts me thinking again, "Maybe I can do this".

I remember the first time I really, really began to think I could do this.

When I first started my story, it was something of an amusement to Tim. All I told him was some names of the characters, and a few tiny aspects of the story- which was probably a bad idea as in hindsight most of the names were pretty bad, and most of the things I told him were pretty amusing in their infant stage.

So Tim would tease me whenever I would write. Not in a bad way, in a very funny way. But he definitely didn't take that seriously what I was doing, and quite frankly I wasn't taking it seriously myself.

One day I was working on my prologue. The prologue was the first thing I wrote when I felt like doing some fiction writing and so dusted off an old idea for a fantasy novel from a few years previous. It was the setting of the political and historical scene of the nation. And even after re-reading it over, and over again, I've made very few changes and I still think it's good.

One day I was reading it (again). Tim was in the study. Previously I hadn't let him read anything. He would be nice and supportive whatever he thought, but I would see right through him if he didn't like it. I was scared. But this day I decided I would actually read it to him.

So I read the Prologue.

Tim's response was to be quiet for a second. Then he said "You know, I think you could actually write this thing and get it published"

That was the moment that we both started taking my writing seriously.

That was the moment the dream began.
love B

Psalm 51:16-17

You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.

What an amazing God we have, who deserved everything, who we have treated with such disdain.

Yet what sacrifice does he require? What do we need to present to him?

Only our broken and contrite hearts
He will not despise

Praise God!
love B

Adopting a 23 year old male

Last Monday Tim and I adopted a 23 year old male.

Of course- that's not really what happened. Our friend was moving to Sydney for work- and asked if he could stay with us until he found a place to live. But to me it feels like we've adopted him.

There are real pluses to adopting one at such a late stage in life. He has already been house trained- he is a firm believer in the concept that the one who cooks shouldn't be the one to do the dishes (which as a the family cook I greatly approve of), and every time i turn my back- another surface has been whiped down. He's also a firm believer in Christ- which is a great encouragement to Tim and I as we've been prividged to witness God's work in his life from a baby Christian when we met him- to one of the most enthusiastic Christians you will ever see.

It's will be a big adjustment for Tim and I. We are so used to it being just us- so little things like having to get properly dressed before leaving our room, and having to share a television are very foreign concepts! But it is exciting too. Tim preached recently on 1 Peter 4 (have I mentioned recently that my husband is the best preacher in the world) and we were both challenged by the call to "Offer hospitality without grumbling". And a few weeks later- that is what we are doing!

Please pray that we will "offer hospitality without grumbling", that our friend will find a spiritual and physical home up here soon, and that through it all Tim and I will still have the "quality time" we need together.

Oh, and did i mention "FOUR WEEKS UNTIL WE ARE DOWN IN MELBOURNE. YAY!"
love B

What ministry is like...

I was reflecting today on my first six months of working in my job and thinking about all the wonderful things i want to do in the next six months but don't have time for. It got me thinking.

Ministry involves having big dreams of doing wonderful, organised, professional programs and having deep, relevant and meaningful relationships with people that are peppered with good deeds and wonderful God-saturated conversations. Ministry involves watching those dreams be replaced with a crazy hard slog. You end up producing something that is no where near what you originally dreamed. And ministry involves watching a magnificent, powerful God in his grace and mercy using your disorganised, unprofessional programs and your not quite perfect relationships to do things that are greater than you ever imagined.

What a great reminder that the Christian life starts and continues and ends with grace!
love B

Dishes I like...

My holidays have taken on a food theme. I think- scary though this is (I'm actually turning into my very productive Mum, Dad and Sister)- I think I've grown out of my love of bulgy stay at home only watching TV holidays. I need something to do to structure my day. This holidays at least it's been cooking, reading cook books, planning meals. Yesterday the theme was healthy. Today I'm going for a Chinese menu- though I'm still planning on doing healthy dessert!

Anyway- I just opening up a file on my computer- and I was reminded of a funny Tim moment I thought I'd share. Sometimes I find it hard to know what to cook- and particularly to remember what things I've made that Tim has particularly enjoyed. So one day I started a word document which I titled "Dishes Tim likes"- and wrote down a few from the top of my head.

That evening- I opened word and was surprised to find in the "recently used documents"-above "Dishes Tim likes" was a document called "Dishes Bindy likes". I opened it and this was what I found:
· Plates
· Bowels
· Cutlery
· Pots
· Pans
· Glasses
· Mugs

I particularly like the mis-spelling of bowls

love B

Holidays

I'm on holidays.

It is the weirdest feeling.

I haven't actually been looking forward to these holidays that much. I was looking forward to kids club being over and theoretically having a break- but as Tim is today back at college it just seemed a waste of all the time in Lu I earned during the last crazy month. I'm not generally a hang at home by myself kind of person. I am a people person- and particularly a Tim person and it seemed such a frustrating shame that our only corresponding holiday was Monday!

But...despite that I think I will have a great week.

Kids club was just incredible. I don't know if I totally enjoyed it while I was there, I enjoyed part of it, but there is something about being the one keeping an eye on the time and making sure every things happening that means that you can't relax and enjoy the fun and excitement. One of the leaders (bless her!) who actually was really involved and helpful apologised to me because she didn't think she did much, she had too much fun to be working hard. That is definitely NOT how I feel, but I pray its how most of the leaders felt. But it was fun, it was a buzz, and it was a good reminder that God, despite my sometimes grumpy feeling that he doesn't, really does listen and answer my prayers

But I'm glad its over. This last term has just been huge. I think part of it has been realising that I have to stop thinking about myself as someone who works 4 days and therefore has lots of time. I don't. I don't have lots of time. Life is very full. Some of that fullness is due to the nature of my work. Some is due to wanting to be involved in College. Some is due to certain tasks (such as babysitting and cooking for people who need it) which I love and aren't technically work, but do take up my free time. Some is due to the fact that for health reason I need to keep up exercising- and as much as I enjoy that it does again take up time. And some is due to the simple act of keeping a house clean- even with Tim's assistance- it takes a while. And then there are just the life things that mean that sometimes even days off a written off with work, stress or just general sadness.

But now I can rest. Now i can sleep in and get up when I want to not when its time to do the next task. And now I can see how much of how I've been feeling is due to needing just this time.

It's a great feeling!!!!!
love B

Ready for a Holiday

I thought it was about time to do an update on my life.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

That's pretty much how I'm feeling at the moment. This time next week I will be well into the throngs of our Church's Kids Club- which I am coordinating- and during which i know I will have a fantastic time. Why do I feel so frazled? Not because I don't think it will be good. It's going to be wonderful. But because there is so much to get done this week when it comes to just my normal end of term week- that holiday club on top of that makes me want to bang my head against the table!

It's been a hard term.

I still love my job, and I still have many things happening that bring me great joy. But I'm so busy and so weary. And when I'm weary I am easily discouraged. And Melbourne just seems so far away at the moment! There is no trip down planned until September and no current prospect of visitors before then :(

Basically what it comes down to is I hit the point of needing a holiday about three or four weeks ago. And that said holiday is still not for another week and a bit.

And until then?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
love B
PS Prayer would be appreciated

When all the cows are sleeping...

I sometimes think about Uni ministry verses what I'm doing now:

There are lots of serious pros and cons to both.

But really- when it all comes down to it- the Big question that seems to dominate my thinking on this issue is:

What Kind of Dancing do I like more?

21st/Wedding/Party dancing along to the latest hits/old dance classics.

OR

Dancing to songs that involve lots of clapping, nodding, stamping, rolling out of beds, ducks going quack, and pointing to different parts of the body.

I think- at least on the dancing front- Uni Ministry wins. But on the weeks where I get to do Dingle Dangle Scarecrow...it gets a bit closer.
love B

Sandy's "Twenty-Seven today, Twenty Seven today"

Today is a special day, and a sad day- because it's my sister Sandy's birthday and I can't be there.

But sending lots of purple love your way Sandy!
love B

Memorising Scripture

When I first started my job one of the first thing that was talked about was memorising Scripture.

My boss (who in the tradition of "The Castle" is an idea's man) was really keen that as a church family we all get into the habit of learning Memory verses, and that we be really deliberate in the choices that we make- so that these verses will be helpful throughout the whole lives of those who learn them. And he suggested that this might be a task that I could undertake.

We set the starting date for just after the school holidays (one of the many reasons why my last school holidays wasn't really a holiday!) I had to think about memorising scripture, why it was important, to work out how to sell it to the church, pick the verses and particularly the categories we might use in choosing what kinds of verses to have, and work out how we would teach and encourage people to prioritise learning.

It was a pretty mammoth task- but it has been one of the most rewarding things I've done so far. There are two reasons for this.

The first is the personal impact. The task of going to the Bible to pick memory verses is just amazing. You are constantly poring over the Bible and looking over verses that inspire you, challenge you and point you to the cross and the great God who made it happen. I remember one afternoon just reading through the "Fighter Verses" that Bethlehem Baptist (John Pipers church) use and just being so spurred on and encouraged. It made me realise how much more effort I should put into memorising scripture. How many instances I could think of where having certain verses would have been just a blessing in the fight against sin and discouragement- if only I had known them off by heart!

The second is seeing it actually happen in the congregation. The end of the first month I was a little bit nervous that hardly anyone would have learnt it. It had been plugged every week. Where relevant it had been mentioned in sermons. It had been taught in Sunday School. But would anyone know it?

The verse was Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners Christ died for us".

I asked everyone to say it together (without the words displayed) on the last Sunday of the month. The church resounded with an enthusiastic rendition; over-powered somewhat by a young grade three girl who screamed it at the top of her lungs ;)

But the big test was TNT.

TNT is the junior youth Bible study that Tim and I lead. They had seemed at first a bit non committal about learning it; there was a real "can't be bothered" vibe in the air when we talked about it. And yet, on that last day- most of them knew it and were excited about knowing it.

And they understood it. During the study Tim asked them: "How do we know that God loves us?" Someone answered: "Because Jesus died for us when we were sinners". GOLD!

This Sunday I had the pleasure of teaching actions to the whole church- and seeing everyone jumping enthusiastically into the air as they cried out "ABOUNDING in love and faithfulness" (Exodus 34:6).

Have I mentioned lately that I love my job?
love B

Why I love my Bible study!

Today is one of those days where I can think about a million things I want to blog about. "One of those days" doesn't happen very often- so I've actually written down a list that I will plow through over time.

I will give you a "what's been happening update" after this weekend- because that (hopefully!) is when the craziness stops a bit. Plus I am blessed to be having a weekend away with my Mum and Sister in the blue mountains- so I can let you know about that too!

But now- why I love my Bible study.

I was excited about joining a Bible study this year. Last year I really felt the loss of a regular chance with friends to catch up and learn together. I realised the error of my ways half way through the year and tried to join one of the groups for College wives. Unfortunately at that stage they were all bursting at the brim and too full, so it was with great excitement that I approached my second chance at the start of this year.

Now for those of you who don't know me well enough to know my faults- I am an academic snob. I am very Bible literate, and greatly struggle with pride associated with this. With this pride comes also a tendency to be lazy in Bible study, and not push myself to be challenged (because I've often thought about or read before what I am being taught). It also leads me to want to answer every question in Bible study to "show off" I self-diagnosed this sin when I was 19 years old through my memorable and wonderful first year at Christian Union student group at Monash Uni. But despite my self-diagnosis, it has been a constant struggle and I suspect will remain so.

The idea of being in a Bible study run by "College Lecturer's wives" and other "College wives's" appealed because I assumed the studies would be high brow and academic.

But this is what I found.

The studies so far have been on James and the topic of "the church"- two things that I am very familiar with. The things that we discuss, the answers that we come to, are most of the time ones that I already knew or things I already thought.

And yet, it's been wonderful!

Because often the conclusions are conclusions I've known, but never lived out. For example, in our first study on church we came to the conclusion- based on many passages but particularly Romans 12:1 that we needed to live our whole lives as "worship" to God. This was something I knew. But as the study ended I realised how little I lived it out! I don't wake up in the morning thinking about all the different ways I will be worshiping God that day. I don't do the dishes, write my novel or ride the train in a way that acknowledges the one I'm serving. I do think of ministry and church as my worship time and not the rest. What a challenge!

And not only that- I am in a group of very different women. We have a Grandma, a Mother of young adults, and a Mother of young kids. We have a lawyer, a nurse and a PA. We have people studying, teaching and ministering the gospel. All different. All sharing their lives, their wisdom, their struggles, their joys and their prayer points each week.

I am so thankful to God for my Bible study. Once again, my good God has not given me what I expected or what I asked for, but just what I needed. He is like that!
love B
PS For those of you who also struggle with being Bible snobs- two things I have found helpful in a Bible study context. The first is thinking before I answer a question- am I just answering this to show off? The second is even if I'm not, I only ever answer half the questions I want to, to keep myself from dominating. Still not perfect, but I've found it a great help!

My Secret World

Do you want to know a secret?

Most of the time I act like everyone else, and you might not suspect whats really going on. But I have a secret. A secret world.

I visit it often- sometimes when I'm on the train- still waking up ready to face the day. Sometimes it's after the lights go out and my head has hit the pillow. Sometimes (often in fact) it is when I walk through the streets of wherever I am living at the time. And sometimes it's even here, in the world's most messy office.

I go there most often when I am feeling peaceful and happyish. But even at times of suffering and stress it can be my little refuge for a tired mind.

It is a world that is so different to this one, and yet so many things are the same. There are people that look like us, that struggle like us, with the same problems magnified by their unusual surroundings. This world is an exaggerated caricature of our world. The mountains are grander, the sea is wider and so much is unknown. There is magic and spells and adventure that brings the extraordinary in people- but which also highlight their weakness and sin.

There is a great history that has been slowly wiped out from the memories of the people in that world. But I know that history, and will be slowly revealing it to the characters of my choosing.

There is a little girl who is a little bit like me, though not too much :) She is dreamy and small and inconsequential...at first. But she is the last piece in a puzzle that I am putting together to save her world.

There are events that happen in this world that arrive like a lightening bolt in my head; while others take weeks, months and even years of thinking before I decide on "what happens next".

I don't know if I will ever get my novel finished, and sometimes when I read parts of it I think I'll never get it published even if I do finish! But I love my little world and I love the tales I discover there and so I'm going to keep visiting and writing what I see.

Can you keep my secret?
love B

Soul Weary

I've been feeling very soul weary lately. We drove over one of my favourite bridges in Sydney last night, and I looked out at the beautiful night sky-line and felt...strange. Not sad, not happy, and there was a bit of missing Melbourne mixed in there. But most of all just tired.

I've been sick, and had lots of things to do. I've been under a lot of stress, and found it hard to switch off my brain.

When I'm soul weary I always turn to the Psalms.

The psalms are the natural place I always want to go to when I pick up my Bible. So normally when I pick my Bible up, I try to fight that temptation and read other things as well. But during weeks like this I know that what I need more than anything is the honest, raw, beautiful Psalms.

I love God. And it seems amazing that with the kind of job I have and the life I lead that I keep having to remind myself of him. Of his grace, of his Holiness, of his majesty and power. But life takes over and I find myself forgetting. Living as if his loving hand wasn't guiding and leading my every path. Living as if the ministry I was doing was totally in my weak, helpless hands. Living as if this world is all these is and that I don't have an eternity of joyful communion with him to look forward to.

So the Psalms are great. There is my God who controls the wind and the waves. There is the God who listens t0 David's pleas. There is the just God who will not let the wicked triumph. There is the loving God who casts my sins away from me. And there is my God who will be my strength and portion long after my flesh and heart have failed.

Please Pray that I will live my life and do my ministry in light of his greatness.

love B

Tim on the Radio

Now some of you may be aware of my boast that my husband is the best preacher in the whole world.

But now friends, if you haven't heard him- you have a chance to find out for yourselves how completely right I am (despite my slight bias)!

The week before Easter Tim was on a Mission at St John's Anglican Church in Paramatta. The sermon he gave was recorded and this Sunday the 3rd of May his talk (along with the service he preached at) will be played on 103.1 Hope FM in Sydney at 7pm!

And for those of you would do not live in Sydney, you can listen to it at http://www.hope1032.com.au/ListenLive.asp

I haven't heard it, but I read the draft and it was excellent. So it should be a ripper!
Have a wonderful week friends (if there are any of you still out there)
:)
love B

Still a Kid on the inside

Sometimes I struggle with real self-doubt when it comes to my job.

• I have never studied any form of childhood education (although I do have an unusually high understanding of early numeracy thanks to my parents line of work!)
• I've never had any formal training in children's ministry
• I supervise people who have taught more Sunday School than I have!
• I don't have children of my own, so I don't have that natural know how that a mother gets just from having to work out how to bring up a children from scratch

And yet, as I look back over this previous term, even though there are so many things that I could have done better- I can see that God in his wisdom and grace has guided me through it and used me.

I don't know everything there is to know about kids, but I think one of the secrets I have is that I am still a kid inside. I can play with kids, and I'm only just realising now that this isn't something that comes naturally to everyone. I can relate to kids, I can teach them. I love working with them. And when parents see this, they warm to me and open up to me more than I could have possibly imagined.

The reality of my "inner child" came back to me as I had this particular song stuck in my head for the last month:

The Easter Bunny came hopping along

Swinging his basket and singing a song

He delivered two eggs to the green front door

And he hopped a bit further and delivered some more

Now, having a song stuck in your head is not usually your fault. But I have to take some responsibility for singing it to my husband while I hoped around the room like a rabbit.

My inner-child loves my job almost as much as I do!

love B

Do not worry

Hi Friends,
I've been thinking more and more lately about how thankful I am to my parents for the way they brought me up. I think this new found awareness relates to my job. As I think and pray about how best I can encourage the children in my church, I realise what a huge role parents have in this process, and particularly remember and appreciate things Mum and Dad did. The songs we used to sing, the little Bible studies we used to do, the prayers before bed every night. These are things that were just there for me and Sandy but now I think- praise God! How much easier is it for me to read my Bible every day when the habbit was impressed upon me before the age of ten!

This week has been a week of worries. Now that term has ended, I've found myself realing under the things I intended to get done "Once the term was over". And there are all these things that are happening this term. Good things, like coordinating a church wide effort to memorise verses of the Bible, and running a pre-evangelistic event to encourage Mum's to read with their kids. Not to mention starting up the Women's ministry side of my job! I feel tired just thinking about it. And that's on top of a whole lot of life stuff that's coming up that I have to process.

And over and over again I hear the Jenny Flack song "Do not worry" that my Mum used to sing to me when ever I got worried. At the time (and I've told Mum this) I used to get a little annoyed, feeling like "I want to worry, and singing a song isn't going to stop it anyway"! But I know that it did help, and now? Now it runs into my head and reminds me of a greater perspective.

I won't give you the whole song (though I know it word perfect :) but here is the start:

Do not worry over any old thing
The birds don't worry and hear how they sing
Leave all your worries to the King of Kings
and do your best and leave the rest to the Lord

I would appreciate your prayers this week. Just pray that I get done what needs to be done and that I trust God with tomorrow.
love B

Interesting Typo

Interesting Typo pointed out by my beautiful Sandy- in my last post I said that Uni students realistically only working 26 days a week! Actually, working 26 days a week is not something the ordinary Uni student does- though I wouldn't put it past my conscientious sister :)

And for a birthday Update- I am having a lovely day. I had the worlds BEST banana bread at Envy Cafe (a cafe which Tim doesn't like that much so it was a lovely Birthday concession), and then we had a picnic by the beach. I also had some nice phone chats with friends and family not to mention a very funky fruit hamper from Mum, Dad and Sandy. And my present from Tim? A T2 collection of sample teas. So exciting!

Now, back to my Nana nap!
love B

Happy Easter

Happy Easter Folks!
I remember when I first started working- I finally got public holidays. When you are at Uni and you realistically worked 26 days a week (I know you have exams, but seriously, who works in the first few weeks of term anyway), and so public holidays (which you often didn't get anyway) just seemed like another day off to add to your billion other day offs. But when you work full-time and you somehow have to fit all the stuff you used to get up to into 4 tiny weeks, public holidays suddenly become very important, precious, and surprisingly long things.

Well, working in a church is a whole other kettle of fish!

This week has been the second craziest week I've had since I've started this job. There's been playgroup parties and puppet shows, working on my normal day off (which is doubly huge because it's my day off AND a public holiday), and lots and lots of tasks that needed to be sorted "Before the holidays".

But it's also been awesome. I love my job. But I'm very glad to have a more restful week.

As good as this weeks been, it's also been a bit sad, as I contemplate my first birthday away from my Melbourne families. Last year I had the best of both worlds, as we few down to Melbourne just in time to be shouted Indian dinner with Mum and Dad. But this year it will be just me and Tim.

Having said that- I'm very excited, Tim is making plans, secret plans, and I don't know what they are. I love surprises.

And I am also really looking forward to these next few weeks not just doing my job, but having time to actually think about what I'm doing. The what and the why and the how better questions.

Anyway, that is my rambling update on my life these last few weeks.

May this Easter be a great time for you to reflect of what it means that Jesus could say "I am the resurrection and the life, he who believes in me will live, even though he dies (John 11:25)
love B

Kinda Fun Milestones, and confessions of a lazy writer

Do you want to know something cool?

This is my one hundreth post!

Do you want to know something else cool?

I'm writing it exactly a year after I started blogging!

I'm been a little bit more consistant with blogging these last few weeks because I've had so many fun photos to put up! But something I have not been consistant with is my fiction writing.

I was so detirmined when I started! So detirmined that half of Friday would be a writing day. So what happened?

1.Two weddings in Melbourne
2. Friday being the perfect day for having people round for tea- and so the cooking, the planning, the shopping and the cleaning take over
3. The unexpected exhaustion that comes from working with kiddies all the time.
4. My extroversion meaning that I struggle to spend a whole day at home by myself- particularly with friends in the building that don't mind if I just "drop by"
5. Reaching the mile stone of having the first "Act (so to speak)" finished, only to have my darling husband suggest (quite rightly) that it would improve it to expand it further and give more detail. Which is great (I was worrying he would find it too detailed and boring)! But it's a reminder of how long its going to take me to finish this thing.

So this is the plan:

• At least to start with- set aside one hour on Friday to write. An hour is managable and a start.
• Get Tim to ask me if I'm writing- I need the extra nagging :)
• Read good books and particularly books on writing. That always inspires me
• if I don't feel like writing because I don't particularly feel like working on the part of the story I'm up to- I should go ahead to somewhere else. At least then I'm writing!
• Think about writing on the train, on the street, in the shops. There is so much inspiration everywhere if I'm deliberately seeking it
• Remind myself how much I love it when I actually do it!

There, I'm inspired already!

love B

And All together

And here we are all together at the wedding of my sister-in-law Elise. Doesn't she look amazing!

I love these kind of candid shots you get when trying to get everyone together!

My In-Laws

Thought I would show you some photos from a family wedding of my lovely In-Law connections

Tim's sister Elise and her fiance (and soon to be husband) Harry

Tim's brother Joel and his lovely girl friend Angela

Tim's parents Lois and Ian

The boys posing :)

And who is this stunning couple?

hehe
love B

New Format

Because they say a change is as good as a holiday. And I need a holiday!

Before and After

Thought I'd indulge myself with a little before weight loss and after weight loss photo. I really began to notice it the first time I put up a photo of Tim and I at the wedding last year and could see the difference with my old "profile picture" on my blog. The first is from Nov 07, the second is March 09:

Before

After

Pretty cool hey :)

I'm very thankful to God that he helped me to be able to achieve the weight loss. And even more thankful for the impact on my health it should have- much more important than the impact on my face!

love B

The Bitter-sweetness of Melbourne visits

Tim and I had a wonderful time in Melbourne.

Bec and Brads wedding was loads of fun, and it was so nice getting to hang out with many members of my dear in-law family.

But Melbourne visits are bitter sweet.

The more fun I have, the more sad it feels to go back to Sydney and to think through the many more months before we go back for good. It's not that I don't love Sydney. I do! But family is so precious and it is strange to be away from them for so long.

So, in honour of my discontentment- here are five things that I love about Sydney to help me to be thankful for what I do have:

-I love the train-trip home from my job. The beautiful Green hills of the North Shore. The glimpse I get of little harbours until...wait, there it is! The Sydney harbour in all its spender as I train my way over the bridge. Not to mention train seats that can face backwards or forwards by the pull of a handle. I don't normally change it but I appreciate that I can.
-I love my new Bible study. It's only been two weeks, but so far my study with other 2nd year working wives has been really enjoyable. We are study James and I've been so convicted so far. Gotta love being convicted by the word!
-I love my work and linked to that my church. It has been really great doing kids ministry, and I have particularly been enjoying seeing the inner workings of a local church. And I love the number of people I get to see every day who don't know God but are interested in getting to know him.
-I love where I live. I love the urban-dump to gentrified-hub that is the suburb of Stanmore. I love the cheap restaurants and great coffee-shops just up the road. I love that I have friends in my building and girly-chats whenever I need them
-I love the friends I've made here. God has blessed me so richly with some super-supportive people.

Thanks God for great times in Melbourne AND Sydney. Amen
love B

The only time I ever wished that I was a man

I am packing today for the wedding of Tim's cousin in Melbourne.

First- I pack my pretty, summery pink dress with the deeper pink flowers which is what I really want to wear but know I will be too cold in it. I pack it anyway

Second- I pack my lovely multi-coloured pashmena- which unfortunately doesn't really go with my pink dress

Third- I pack my gray sequened top with my black skirt which does go with my pashmena

Fourth- I pack my my dress jacket- just in case it is too cold for just the pashmena

Fifth- I pack my silver shoes. Silver goes with everything- yay!

Sixth- I pack my jewlery which of course goes perfectly with the pink dress but will be okay with my other outfit.

Seventh- I pack Tim's blue shirt, black pants, jacket, and blue rose tie. The outfit he can and will wear rain, hail or 40 degrees. The same outfit he has worn to every wedding since I've known him with the exception of our own.

The only time I've ever wished that I was a man.
love B

Cleaning

I hate cleaning.

I will say it again, I hate cleaning!

But I do it anyway...some of the time.

I have done some much cleaning this week! The clothes that have been in boxes are finally in shelves, the spare room is no longer the dumping ground of household clutter, and the study...well, that's next weeks project! And Saturday, the kitchen was tidied- the dishwasher emptied and stacked, I cooked almost everything I had intended to cook that week, and I even took the rubbish out. Ordinarily Tim stacks the dish washer and takes out the rubbish but he'd had a super full on week at College and so I thought I'd give him a break.

And I came home on Sunday- my full-on ministry day. Came home at 9pm, cooked tea and thought- the dishwasher needs emptying.

I think that's why I hate cleaning. It's such a constant task. You work hard, you get everything exactly how you want it- and then just by living a normal messy life you have to start over again. And the dishwasher you neatly stack...well the very act of stacking it means that it then has to be un-stacked.

Yet, as I began to unstack, I remembered my initial excitement when Mum (who was in Sydney before we moved up and checked out our place) told me that there was a dishwasher. When I realised what a blessing that would be. When I knew how much easier it would be to have people over. When I knew how much cleaner our house could be, if we didn't spend all that time doing dishes by hand. And I felt a bit silly. How easy to take things for granted. God had blessed us with this unexpected bonus- this tool for making the things I find so hard about being a wife that little bit easier...and I was complaining about unstacking.

I hate cleaning. But I'm getting better at doing it anyway.
love B

Slacko BG

Oh, I'm so naughty!

It's been ages since I've posted. The reason is kind of sad. I felt like I should do a blog post about the fires- but everytime I tried it just didn't sound right. I was so sad about it- but not sure how best to put it into words. So I didn't post.

But I do feel so very sad for those who lost homes/lives. It made me miss Victoria so much, I wanted to be there with those I love.

But instead I am here in Sydney...and keeping pretty busy too.

Today I had to laugh. One of my favourite scene's from the movie "Little Women" is when the Professor meets Jo and knows she's a writer. She's don't know why, until he points out the ink on her fingers- the tell tale sign. I think I always liked it because I wanted to be a writer too, and I always have inky hands (usually because I chew the ends of my pens and they leak but lets just pretend it's because I'm a writer).

Well, today I had to laugh. I was sorting through some paint containers from playgroup and in the process my hands took on a multi-coloured nature that I couldn't wash away. I just laughed, looked at my hands and thought "I must be a Children's worker".

I think I'm starting to really love my job! But it does tire me out. I'm more and more thankful for the privelege of four days a week. It means I can fit in College related things which is appearing to be really important. I'm still getting to see many of my dear College friends- and have joined a College wives Bible study which should be a great encouragement. I feel so thankful for the decision that we made for me to work and not study...not that I should be surprised. God knew all along!

The wedding season is about to kick in- with two lightening trips down to Melbourne for Tim's cousin and Tim's sisters wedding. It should be lots of fun. Hopefully I will be able to stalk some pictures off facebook to put here when they happen ;)

Anyway- that's enough for tonight. One day I will get back to thoughtful posts instead of just updates. One day...
love B