Holidays

I'm on holidays.

It is the weirdest feeling.

I haven't actually been looking forward to these holidays that much. I was looking forward to kids club being over and theoretically having a break- but as Tim is today back at college it just seemed a waste of all the time in Lu I earned during the last crazy month. I'm not generally a hang at home by myself kind of person. I am a people person- and particularly a Tim person and it seemed such a frustrating shame that our only corresponding holiday was Monday!

But...despite that I think I will have a great week.

Kids club was just incredible. I don't know if I totally enjoyed it while I was there, I enjoyed part of it, but there is something about being the one keeping an eye on the time and making sure every things happening that means that you can't relax and enjoy the fun and excitement. One of the leaders (bless her!) who actually was really involved and helpful apologised to me because she didn't think she did much, she had too much fun to be working hard. That is definitely NOT how I feel, but I pray its how most of the leaders felt. But it was fun, it was a buzz, and it was a good reminder that God, despite my sometimes grumpy feeling that he doesn't, really does listen and answer my prayers

But I'm glad its over. This last term has just been huge. I think part of it has been realising that I have to stop thinking about myself as someone who works 4 days and therefore has lots of time. I don't. I don't have lots of time. Life is very full. Some of that fullness is due to the nature of my work. Some is due to wanting to be involved in College. Some is due to certain tasks (such as babysitting and cooking for people who need it) which I love and aren't technically work, but do take up my free time. Some is due to the fact that for health reason I need to keep up exercising- and as much as I enjoy that it does again take up time. And some is due to the simple act of keeping a house clean- even with Tim's assistance- it takes a while. And then there are just the life things that mean that sometimes even days off a written off with work, stress or just general sadness.

But now I can rest. Now i can sleep in and get up when I want to not when its time to do the next task. And now I can see how much of how I've been feeling is due to needing just this time.

It's a great feeling!!!!!
love B