Our least messy house

I thought you'd like to get some pictures of where we live. this is the very pretty entry way into our hospital (our building used to be a hospital- If I haven't mentioned that to you). You are lucky to actually get to see this photo- seeing as I was close to passing out from the garlic fumes whafting through the hallway out of our neighbours kitchen. It is so strong- I actually spent two minutes searching our kitchen- because surely a smell that strong had to be from our own house! I'm not sure if its to do with the nature of our building- but we can often smell our neighbours cooking- and if as usually it smells better than what we are having I end up salivating with jelousy!

Tim and I have a regular argument about which one of us is the messiest. Tim argues that I have the largest tolerance for mess which means it has to get pretty messy before it bothers me. I argue that if the tolerance for mess is not based on annoyance of mess but on how messy it gets before you actually start cleaning then he has the largest tolerance!

I've been doing a bit of blog searching lately on my favourite Christian lit topic- being a wife. This process can be both helpful and dispiriting. Helpful, because it does inspire me to rethink how I am serving Tim and what it means to be a wife. I am a passionate person who blows hot and cold- and so I need regular shots in the arm to keep my eye on the prize. To read again what a privelege it is to be a helper, to hear stories of great ministries that have been propt up by a loving wives sacrifices, to be reminded again that putting Tim before my career does not make me a second class citizen- this is really important.

But this process is also dispiriting because the women who tend to write these books or these blogs are not like me. Their tolerance for mess is very low, and if their husbands is lower then they cheerfully clean to that level. They cook fantastic meals that are healthy and cheap while I get carried away with a particular receipy and send us over budget once again. They are sweet and quiet and hospitalable and fade into the background so that their husbands (and more importantly God) can get the glory- I talk to much, love being the centre of attention, and in the past we haven't been able to have people round because the house was too messy!


Some of this is my sin- and praise God, he has helped us fight our hatred of house-cleaning so that now we can have people round at the drop of a hat. The blessing of two houses with dishwashes certainly helped! Seeing Tim serve and the way that God uses his numerous gifts has helped me see that freeing him up to do his work is worthwhile. Tim has also been a good role model at deflecting the glory back to God when ministry goes well.

But part of this is just that God has made me a certain type of person. When I first got married I spent the first year feeling like a failer as a wife, because I set my standards based on women who were so different to me. Why can't I be a wife like her? Why can't I have a house like her's? Why does it all have to come so hard to me?

But there is more to being a wife than a clean house. Like all things, there are things that are easy for me, and there are things that are hard. And once more it comes down to that question: what can I do to serve Tim and God best, given who God has actually made me to be?

I'm still not sure of my answer. But what a privelege to serve a God who loves us when we get it wrong and when we get it right, and who gives us his Spirit to grow more and more. That fact that this current house is our least messy house is due to his grace in our growth as much as it is due to our dishwasher.

Does anyone have any suggestions of a useful resources for thinking through what it means to be a wife? I've read lots of good stuff, but I find it hard to pry away what is the American Christian-cultural standards on being a wife and what is actually straight from the Bible.
Thanks,
Belinda