A while ago I was writing about how excited I was about coming down to Melbourne, particularly because it would be a chance to rest.
The best layed plans...
It's so wonderful being back. I'm so thankful for the great time we are spending with our family. It's nice being able to drive around without pulling out a map. It's been wonderful starting to see friends.
But it's not a rest!
Because I'm working next year, my Austudy cut out a few weeks ago, so while I'm down in Melbourne I needed to do some work to get a little extra money in, to cover our rent back in Sydney and to pay for the inevitable Christmas expenses. I've got some work through family connections and I'm so happy about it. It's work that I enjoy, it's flexible, it's more money than I've earned for a long while, and it's a real gift for God. I'm working 4 days a week while we are down in Melbourne.
It's not a rest!
But, saying all that, one of the most restful things about coming to Melbourne is that its not my house. I don't have undone chores hanging over my head. I don't have jobs that can wait but that I'm always aware of to do. And there is a certain peace within relationships with family and old friends. I was quite happy to have a nap on our friends couch last night while Tim talked with our friends late into a night. You can do that with old friends.
I love Melbourne. But I must appologise. I don't think I will have time to blog every second day like I previously promised. I need to rest.
love B
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Post muck-up
BTW- there is a post about 4 posts down called exam in two hours which is actually my most recent post. I don't know why it ended up down there and not up here.
But incidentally- the exam went really well, praise God, and I definitely knew alot more than I thought I did (which is a great thing to realise during an exam).
Now onto tomorrows exam!
3 to go- and this time next week I'll be free!
love B
But incidentally- the exam went really well, praise God, and I definitely knew alot more than I thought I did (which is a great thing to realise during an exam).
Now onto tomorrows exam!
3 to go- and this time next week I'll be free!
love B
Monday, November 10, 2008
An almost perfect day
I am suppose to be writing about what would my perfect day be.
Alot more complicated than it sounds! Because I now live in Sydney and so my perfect day needs to be spread across two cities. But it can't involve a plane flight- because that would take up to much time- and to do all my favourite things will take up every second of that day. But then, if I was busy doing all my favourite things- would I get tired and warn out?
The other hard thing about perfect days is that when you look back over which days have been the most wonderful in your life- they often aren't what you expect. My wedding day was up there, very cliche- but it really was awesome! But many of the other days have simply been ordinary days with extraordinary occurrences, or just really great fun times with family and friends.
And the cynical, grumpy part of me says-all I want is a day when the hard things in my life could just disappear. Then that would be the perfect day, regardless of what else was to happening.
But taking all of that into account, and knowing that this day is so chocked full I probably wouldn't really enjoy it (!)- here is my perfect day. I've set it in Melbourne-and my new life-long-healthy-eating-habits have, for some unknown reason, gone on holiday ;)
Waking up in a beautiful bed and breakfast with Tim, somewhere in the Dandenong Rangers- with a decadent, multi-course breakfast of all my favourite things (fruit, eggs Benedict, quality toasted muesli and a huge glass of orange juice). We would then go down the mountain and meet my parents and sister for a chai-latte at the Dragon Fly Cafe in the Basin. Then, off to a park for a big BBQ lunch with all my dearest friends. After a short afternoon nap Tim and I would get dressed up for our evening out. We would start with Indian, and then come back to his folks place for dessert (lemon tart, cheesecake...it's hard to decide...). It would be crowded with various relatives and friends and we would play crazy games into the night. For some reason that I'm yet to come up with- we would end the night by dancing!
So there it is. My almost perfect day.
And now I'm even more excited about going back to Melbourne.
1 exam down today- 4 more to go!
love B
Alot more complicated than it sounds! Because I now live in Sydney and so my perfect day needs to be spread across two cities. But it can't involve a plane flight- because that would take up to much time- and to do all my favourite things will take up every second of that day. But then, if I was busy doing all my favourite things- would I get tired and warn out?
The other hard thing about perfect days is that when you look back over which days have been the most wonderful in your life- they often aren't what you expect. My wedding day was up there, very cliche- but it really was awesome! But many of the other days have simply been ordinary days with extraordinary occurrences, or just really great fun times with family and friends.
And the cynical, grumpy part of me says-all I want is a day when the hard things in my life could just disappear. Then that would be the perfect day, regardless of what else was to happening.
But taking all of that into account, and knowing that this day is so chocked full I probably wouldn't really enjoy it (!)- here is my perfect day. I've set it in Melbourne-and my new life-long-healthy-eating-habits have, for some unknown reason, gone on holiday ;)
Waking up in a beautiful bed and breakfast with Tim, somewhere in the Dandenong Rangers- with a decadent, multi-course breakfast of all my favourite things (fruit, eggs Benedict, quality toasted muesli and a huge glass of orange juice). We would then go down the mountain and meet my parents and sister for a chai-latte at the Dragon Fly Cafe in the Basin. Then, off to a park for a big BBQ lunch with all my dearest friends. After a short afternoon nap Tim and I would get dressed up for our evening out. We would start with Indian, and then come back to his folks place for dessert (lemon tart, cheesecake...it's hard to decide...). It would be crowded with various relatives and friends and we would play crazy games into the night. For some reason that I'm yet to come up with- we would end the night by dancing!
So there it is. My almost perfect day.
And now I'm even more excited about going back to Melbourne.
1 exam down today- 4 more to go!
love B
Saturday, November 8, 2008
The Art of Overdoing exam prep
I hate being a semi-perfectionist!
I have to say semi, because though I have perfectionist tendencies- I can't call myself a true perfectionist. My house is disgracefully messy, my hand-writing in atrocious, and when I've been writing an essay forever, like your standard non-perfectionist I hand it in rather than checking and double checking because I am SO VERY SICK OF IT!
In fact, it was only a few years ago that I worked out I was a perfectionist at all. I was sitting in church and in the sermon it talked about how we tend to see perfectionism as a slight problem but really a good quality ( the kind of thing you say when asked in an interview what your weakness's are..."I'm too much of a perfectionist, I need my work to be just right!"). But that in reality perfectionism can often mask an underlying insecurity that what I do has to be perfect or people/God won't be happy with me. I suddenly realised at that moment that I was a perfectionist. I may not be in all areas of my life. But I know I avoid doing things I know that I'll be bad at- I just stick with my strengths. I set ridiculously high standards for myself academically- and it's only when I talk to other people that I realise that this isn't normal. And particularly in relationships I'm often so stressed about serving people that it becomes about "Being the perfect friend" and not about serving or caring for them.
While I think I'm getting better in all these areas, the semi-perfectionist tendencies reared their ugly heads again this week as I began to study for exams.
The reality of exams is usually that you work out what might be on the exam, and you make sure you cover enough topics in your prep to make sure you can answer most of the questions.
But this is what goes through my head "Alright, for section C of the OT exam, I'll make sure I've got Psalms and Job down. One of them has come up in every exam for the last ten years. I'll be fine. But what if they don't? What if this is the year that they don't? I really should cover wisdom literature generally? But what about if there is a question about "The writings" generally. That came up in 2002. There could be 3 questions- one on the Apocryphal writing, one on "the writings", and one on Daniel- none of my topics. Maybe I should do the writings too. I could probably wing it though- I could just work it out on the day if I had to. But what if I panic? I don't normally panic in exams. But what if this is the first, what if this is the first and I panic and I fail. I never failed before...maybe I should do the writings too".
This is the point where I come to Tim- he rolls his eyes at me, tells me that I'll be fine and I realise I'm being an idiot.
Friends, please pray for me. I want to do well, but more than that I want to learn and grow. And most of all, I want to learn not to put my eggs in the "I'm academic" basket. My eggs should all be in the "Jesus died for me" basket.
love B
I have to say semi, because though I have perfectionist tendencies- I can't call myself a true perfectionist. My house is disgracefully messy, my hand-writing in atrocious, and when I've been writing an essay forever, like your standard non-perfectionist I hand it in rather than checking and double checking because I am SO VERY SICK OF IT!
In fact, it was only a few years ago that I worked out I was a perfectionist at all. I was sitting in church and in the sermon it talked about how we tend to see perfectionism as a slight problem but really a good quality ( the kind of thing you say when asked in an interview what your weakness's are..."I'm too much of a perfectionist, I need my work to be just right!"). But that in reality perfectionism can often mask an underlying insecurity that what I do has to be perfect or people/God won't be happy with me. I suddenly realised at that moment that I was a perfectionist. I may not be in all areas of my life. But I know I avoid doing things I know that I'll be bad at- I just stick with my strengths. I set ridiculously high standards for myself academically- and it's only when I talk to other people that I realise that this isn't normal. And particularly in relationships I'm often so stressed about serving people that it becomes about "Being the perfect friend" and not about serving or caring for them.
While I think I'm getting better in all these areas, the semi-perfectionist tendencies reared their ugly heads again this week as I began to study for exams.
The reality of exams is usually that you work out what might be on the exam, and you make sure you cover enough topics in your prep to make sure you can answer most of the questions.
But this is what goes through my head "Alright, for section C of the OT exam, I'll make sure I've got Psalms and Job down. One of them has come up in every exam for the last ten years. I'll be fine. But what if they don't? What if this is the year that they don't? I really should cover wisdom literature generally? But what about if there is a question about "The writings" generally. That came up in 2002. There could be 3 questions- one on the Apocryphal writing, one on "the writings", and one on Daniel- none of my topics. Maybe I should do the writings too. I could probably wing it though- I could just work it out on the day if I had to. But what if I panic? I don't normally panic in exams. But what if this is the first, what if this is the first and I panic and I fail. I never failed before...maybe I should do the writings too".
This is the point where I come to Tim- he rolls his eyes at me, tells me that I'll be fine and I realise I'm being an idiot.
Friends, please pray for me. I want to do well, but more than that I want to learn and grow. And most of all, I want to learn not to put my eggs in the "I'm academic" basket. My eggs should all be in the "Jesus died for me" basket.
love B
Sunday, November 2, 2008
POV thanks and my holiday ramble
Hi folks
Just wanted to say thanks for all your advice on the "point of view question". I'm leaning towards 1st person- but I feel a bit more relaxed about it now- I'll just see how it goes and I can always change it. Thank you!
Unfortunately- despite lecture pads full of notes and picture for my story that I've stored up during the last few weeks of classes ;)- with exams fast approaching I don't know how much time I will have to actually write.
But oh, the holidays. In 3 lovely weeks I will be done with study for the year and will have one glorious month off in Melbourne. In some senses I'm a little nervous. It's been so long seen I've been down and seen everyone! Silly, I know.
But when I think of long walks around the paddocks in the Basin, watching Tim and Joel (his brother) fight over which Wii games are the best, seeing how much taller my little cousins have gotten, eating Mums amazing cooking, talking Gilmore girls and theology with Sandy, and seeing Tim's parents, Elise (sis-in-law), Joel (bro-in-law), Harry and Ange (their wonderful significant others), and whoever else decides to come over to the crazy world that is my parents-in-laws house! I can' wait to see my dear old church friends, and all my RMIT girls, and my relatives at the various Christmas parties we will be attending. I hope to reacquaint myself with the game of Cricket, to blog every second day, to talk and talk and talk with my dear husband, and to share 20 odd year old jokes with my Mum, Dad, and sister. I look forward to watching kids walk that I've never seen walk before, and sleeping in the room where I slept when I myself learnt how to walk.
I know it will be hard, and a little painful- knowing I am coming back for only a little bit, and that its still three more years up in Sydney. I know it will bring back lots of uncertainties about the future and what's going to happen. I know for some relationships it will be like we've never left and others like we've never met.
But I am still very, very excited.
Now, back to study...
love B
Just wanted to say thanks for all your advice on the "point of view question". I'm leaning towards 1st person- but I feel a bit more relaxed about it now- I'll just see how it goes and I can always change it. Thank you!
Unfortunately- despite lecture pads full of notes and picture for my story that I've stored up during the last few weeks of classes ;)- with exams fast approaching I don't know how much time I will have to actually write.
But oh, the holidays. In 3 lovely weeks I will be done with study for the year and will have one glorious month off in Melbourne. In some senses I'm a little nervous. It's been so long seen I've been down and seen everyone! Silly, I know.
But when I think of long walks around the paddocks in the Basin, watching Tim and Joel (his brother) fight over which Wii games are the best, seeing how much taller my little cousins have gotten, eating Mums amazing cooking, talking Gilmore girls and theology with Sandy, and seeing Tim's parents, Elise (sis-in-law), Joel (bro-in-law), Harry and Ange (their wonderful significant others), and whoever else decides to come over to the crazy world that is my parents-in-laws house! I can' wait to see my dear old church friends, and all my RMIT girls, and my relatives at the various Christmas parties we will be attending. I hope to reacquaint myself with the game of Cricket, to blog every second day, to talk and talk and talk with my dear husband, and to share 20 odd year old jokes with my Mum, Dad, and sister. I look forward to watching kids walk that I've never seen walk before, and sleeping in the room where I slept when I myself learnt how to walk.
I know it will be hard, and a little painful- knowing I am coming back for only a little bit, and that its still three more years up in Sydney. I know it will bring back lots of uncertainties about the future and what's going to happen. I know for some relationships it will be like we've never left and others like we've never met.
But I am still very, very excited.
Now, back to study...
love B
Monday, October 27, 2008
Exam in two hours
I've got an exam in two hours.
I'm petrified.
Tim keeps saying "You always stress"
I say "This is different"
Tim says "You always say that too"
It all stems from a warning we got on the second last day of term "The New Testament department is known for asking questions you wouldn't expect in exams". Now, for someone who likes to be extra prepared and know what I'm getting into that is profoundly disturbing.
But, if I look beyond my (probably unfounded) terror I have to say that this is probably the best way to do exams. Because rather than researching set topics or working out answers to questions that are "due to come up" this exam- I'm actually just reading and getting to know Mark, Ephesians, and 1 Peter. It may mean not as good a mark (!!!shock-horror!!!) but it's a good reminder that I'm not here for a two digit number printed on a transcript. I'm here to learn. I'm here to know God better. And I feel like that has happened. I'm amazed at the great cosmic plan of God- and inspired by what that should mean for Christian relationship (Eph). I'm challenged to remember that being the new people of God means being different and suffering- but knowing that it is only for a little while- and that "God himself will restore you and make you Strong, firm and steadfast" (1 Peter 5:10). And I once again stare up at the Cross of Christ- amazed that the one who made bread from nothing, walked on water, and had power over demons chose to die for me.
Wow- eternal perspective really helps with nerves ;)
love B
I'm petrified.
Tim keeps saying "You always stress"
I say "This is different"
Tim says "You always say that too"
It all stems from a warning we got on the second last day of term "The New Testament department is known for asking questions you wouldn't expect in exams". Now, for someone who likes to be extra prepared and know what I'm getting into that is profoundly disturbing.
But, if I look beyond my (probably unfounded) terror I have to say that this is probably the best way to do exams. Because rather than researching set topics or working out answers to questions that are "due to come up" this exam- I'm actually just reading and getting to know Mark, Ephesians, and 1 Peter. It may mean not as good a mark (!!!shock-horror!!!) but it's a good reminder that I'm not here for a two digit number printed on a transcript. I'm here to learn. I'm here to know God better. And I feel like that has happened. I'm amazed at the great cosmic plan of God- and inspired by what that should mean for Christian relationship (Eph). I'm challenged to remember that being the new people of God means being different and suffering- but knowing that it is only for a little while- and that "God himself will restore you and make you Strong, firm and steadfast" (1 Peter 5:10). And I once again stare up at the Cross of Christ- amazed that the one who made bread from nothing, walked on water, and had power over demons chose to die for me.
Wow- eternal perspective really helps with nerves ;)
love B
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
My Dilemma
I love writing fantasy fiction.
I just love it. It's like finally getting the two competing sides of my brain to work together. My right side comes up with some specific aspect of the story. My left brain scream "No, that's not logical" and then spends the rest of the day working out how the rest of the story can be changed and adapted to accommodate my creative fancies. Meanwhile my right brain continues to dance around many more crazy ideas to decide which one to hassle left brain with next time.
I love having a world in my head. I love thinking about the history, the geography, the everyday people and their worries and concerns. I love thinking about narrative and characterisation, and how to "show and not tell". I love when I'm walking alone, or sitting in class and suddenly have a thought I know I have to write down. I love tossing around ideas with Tim and having someone else to get caught up in my excitement (of course, I have to be teased a fair bit about various bits of my story, but I don't mind too much ;).
I don't love how fake and phony I often sound in what I write, but I'm having fun and getting better so I think that makes it worthwhile. And maybe, just maybe I may be able to write something that will one day be published. That's the dream anyway.
At the moment my biggest frustration is the dilemma- first person or third person. You see, I always write in first person. It is the most fun to write- because you are actually in the head of the person in the story. But first person is getting rarer and rarer these days- and Tim is convinced it will hinder my story long term.
So I try third person. In my climatic final scene it worked really, really well. But I just can't seem to stick to it. I am too much in the habit of first person and I love it! And sentences that move from Third to First regularly for some reason don't seem to make alot of sense.
"Belinda sat at her computer, staring the the screen. Will I write in third person or first person? She absently jabbed at random keys, and I found myself getting frustrated with the question. She wonder if any one's changed their status on facebook. I wondered if she should change mine. I could write on hers: Belinda is writing her facebook status in the Third person"
Confusing hey! So I'm interested in people's thoughts. What do you prefer: First person or Third person?
I just love it. It's like finally getting the two competing sides of my brain to work together. My right side comes up with some specific aspect of the story. My left brain scream "No, that's not logical" and then spends the rest of the day working out how the rest of the story can be changed and adapted to accommodate my creative fancies. Meanwhile my right brain continues to dance around many more crazy ideas to decide which one to hassle left brain with next time.
I love having a world in my head. I love thinking about the history, the geography, the everyday people and their worries and concerns. I love thinking about narrative and characterisation, and how to "show and not tell". I love when I'm walking alone, or sitting in class and suddenly have a thought I know I have to write down. I love tossing around ideas with Tim and having someone else to get caught up in my excitement (of course, I have to be teased a fair bit about various bits of my story, but I don't mind too much ;).
I don't love how fake and phony I often sound in what I write, but I'm having fun and getting better so I think that makes it worthwhile. And maybe, just maybe I may be able to write something that will one day be published. That's the dream anyway.
At the moment my biggest frustration is the dilemma- first person or third person. You see, I always write in first person. It is the most fun to write- because you are actually in the head of the person in the story. But first person is getting rarer and rarer these days- and Tim is convinced it will hinder my story long term.
So I try third person. In my climatic final scene it worked really, really well. But I just can't seem to stick to it. I am too much in the habit of first person and I love it! And sentences that move from Third to First regularly for some reason don't seem to make alot of sense.
"Belinda sat at her computer, staring the the screen. Will I write in third person or first person? She absently jabbed at random keys, and I found myself getting frustrated with the question. She wonder if any one's changed their status on facebook. I wondered if she should change mine. I could write on hers: Belinda is writing her facebook status in the Third person"
Confusing hey! So I'm interested in people's thoughts. What do you prefer: First person or Third person?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)