I think I've mentioned before on this blog that often that when I'm not blogging much it's because I'm too busy writing other things.
That is very true at the moment. My blog is getting more and more bare but that doesn't mean i'm not doing much writing. Writing has become my life!
Last week I printed off my novel as it stands at present. It is still not finished, but there is something about having it in your hand as opposed to seeing "number of pages" listed on the bottom of a word document. I was singing to myself based on the old hymn "This is my story, this is my song, Praising my savior, all the day long", though instead i was singing "This is my story, this is my novel". Hope that's not too heretical :)
It really feels like a novel. And even as I read through it, rather than seeing major holes in the story, I just see little sections that need filling. You could actually read it, and even if you wouldn't necessarily enjoy it yet, you would be able to understand the plot and the story. Jotted all the way through my hard copy are words like "Describe character more", or "Need to put in an explanation of X" or quite commonly "That sounds so silly Belinda you really need to learn how to write better!". Whereas the last time I printed it out it was much more likely to say "Work out how the story could have gotten from this to that?"
Writing a novel is like solving a puzzle. At any stage I have a certain number of pieces already in, bits of the story that are already figured out. But I need new pieces to put it together and make it all work and fit. But rather than looking for pieces that exist, I just fill them up with my own home-made pieces. I love the illumination of finally figuring out a piece. So much of writing for me is coming up with an idea, and then working out how it is possibly viable within my story. And sometimes my favourite plot twists, characters, and concepts were created just because my story didn't make sense without them.
And now I have a confession. You might wonder why I don't write anything about my novel, except that it is a novel and it's a fantasy story. The truth is, I'm worried someone will steal my ideas. Yes, I know how silly that sounds. That someone would come to my incredibly popular blog, followed by a whopping 10 people, and steal my novel ideas. But I can't help it. It's my story and I love it, and even if it isn't any good, it's mine. And I don't want anyone knowing about it or reading it until it is beautiful and ready!
Which might be soon than I imagined :)
love B
Showing posts with label Warning-Belinda is weird. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Warning-Belinda is weird. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Friday, October 15, 2010
Verbs
I'm writing again.
Actually, I've been writing again for over a month but I think it probably takes a month of writing before I can really say that I really am writing again.
I gave myself a rule that for two weeks I wasn't allowed to read any fiction (gasp!!!!) and my reading would be for work or would be ON the topic of writing. Reading about writing is almost as much fun as writing itself (if its a good book on writing) but it actually sends me to my story as oposed to fiction reading which usually keeps me from it.
I'm back reading fiction again now, but even it has been inspiring me. I'm reading as a writer, and as I get caught up in the little world there is still a part of my brain facinated by what they say and how they say it and how it makes me feel.
One of the big things I've been observing is verbs.
One of the writing books I am reading is Mark Treswick???s "The little Red Writing book" (and yes- it was only last week, after owning the book for two years that I realised why he called it that and how the words sound. So slow :) It's fantastic because its a book on writing which is actually well written! Kind of logical but strangely refreshing. The last chapter was on verbs, and it was the verbs chapter that sent me sailing back into fiction reading again. Mark said that verbs are often the difference between good writing and bad writing and that you need to collect verbs.
And so I read, and I realised the truth. Good verbs really do make good writing. And so I am on a mission to collect verbs. To see what I always use and to add to them.
The verbs (or other words acting as verbs) in this post so far are: writing, think, say, gave, allowed, gasp, sends, keeps, "has been inspiring", get caught, facinated, feel, observing, reading, owning, realised, sound, was on, sailing back, said, need, read, realised, make, collect, use, add.
I love writing.
love B
PS 168 pages
Actually, I've been writing again for over a month but I think it probably takes a month of writing before I can really say that I really am writing again.
I gave myself a rule that for two weeks I wasn't allowed to read any fiction (gasp!!!!) and my reading would be for work or would be ON the topic of writing. Reading about writing is almost as much fun as writing itself (if its a good book on writing) but it actually sends me to my story as oposed to fiction reading which usually keeps me from it.
I'm back reading fiction again now, but even it has been inspiring me. I'm reading as a writer, and as I get caught up in the little world there is still a part of my brain facinated by what they say and how they say it and how it makes me feel.
One of the big things I've been observing is verbs.
One of the writing books I am reading is Mark Treswick???s "The little Red Writing book" (and yes- it was only last week, after owning the book for two years that I realised why he called it that and how the words sound. So slow :) It's fantastic because its a book on writing which is actually well written! Kind of logical but strangely refreshing. The last chapter was on verbs, and it was the verbs chapter that sent me sailing back into fiction reading again. Mark said that verbs are often the difference between good writing and bad writing and that you need to collect verbs.
And so I read, and I realised the truth. Good verbs really do make good writing. And so I am on a mission to collect verbs. To see what I always use and to add to them.
The verbs (or other words acting as verbs) in this post so far are: writing, think, say, gave, allowed, gasp, sends, keeps, "has been inspiring", get caught, facinated, feel, observing, reading, owning, realised, sound, was on, sailing back, said, need, read, realised, make, collect, use, add.
I love writing.
love B
PS 168 pages
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
BFFs?
I have a bit of a bee in my bonnet about the whole concept of BFFs.
If you are not familiar with the term, it starts for "Best friends forever". It is a term which i hear quite alot, due to my facebook friendship with numerous teens.
Don't get me started on people who use the term "BFFs forever", just like PIN number and ATM machine.
But my big issues are first the use of the world best, and second the use of the world forever.
Firstly- when I was in primary school I learnt you would rate things like this: good, better, best. And Best was the absolute cream of the crop. You couldn't have two bests (although you could have a collective group that was the best I suppose, but that's another story).
Hence the use of the Kath and Kim phrase "Second-best friend". I realise sometimes people don't like making distinctions and can't choose between friends who is "the best". Then I argue it makes sense to use a different term.
But BFFs? Well, most people have several BFFs, or they regularly change BFFs depending on their mood. I don't think that should be possible.
And the second F? When I was in my teens I may have had people I could call my "best friend" but I had no illusions that they would be my best friend forever? I mean, you can't tell the future! I was hoping at that time to get married, and I presumed that whoever I married would become my best friend. So any "Best friends" I had were highly likely to be temporary.
So, my new suggestion is "CFF?"
Close friends forever?
You are committing to prioritise that relationship long term. The question mark is that you don't know what will happen in the future, but you will work hard to stay close through lives changes. Because its more realistic, I actually think its more powerful. BFF is just a throw away term. "CFF?" is a commitment!
Do you think it will take off?
love B
If you are not familiar with the term, it starts for "Best friends forever". It is a term which i hear quite alot, due to my facebook friendship with numerous teens.
Don't get me started on people who use the term "BFFs forever", just like PIN number and ATM machine.
But my big issues are first the use of the world best, and second the use of the world forever.
Firstly- when I was in primary school I learnt you would rate things like this: good, better, best. And Best was the absolute cream of the crop. You couldn't have two bests (although you could have a collective group that was the best I suppose, but that's another story).
Hence the use of the Kath and Kim phrase "Second-best friend". I realise sometimes people don't like making distinctions and can't choose between friends who is "the best". Then I argue it makes sense to use a different term.
But BFFs? Well, most people have several BFFs, or they regularly change BFFs depending on their mood. I don't think that should be possible.
And the second F? When I was in my teens I may have had people I could call my "best friend" but I had no illusions that they would be my best friend forever? I mean, you can't tell the future! I was hoping at that time to get married, and I presumed that whoever I married would become my best friend. So any "Best friends" I had were highly likely to be temporary.
So, my new suggestion is "CFF?"
Close friends forever?
You are committing to prioritise that relationship long term. The question mark is that you don't know what will happen in the future, but you will work hard to stay close through lives changes. Because its more realistic, I actually think its more powerful. BFF is just a throw away term. "CFF?" is a commitment!
Do you think it will take off?
love B
Friday, April 23, 2010
Me at 13 Part 2
(Spelling mistakes have been left in for authenticity sake)
I think its an interesting exercise for Tim to get to hear something of my year 7 prayer diary. He recon's he can see a fair bit of the thirteen year old still in me!
Year 7 was a really shocking year. I had just arrived back from the US, and was surprised to find that life didn't suddenly turn out wonderful like I expected it to. I didn't have any good friends, and got picked on at school quite a bit. So much of my prayers were crying out to God- pleading with him to change my situation. It's interesting to compare it to now when I am faced with difficulties. My understanding of God is a great deal more sophisticated- but many of the raw emotions are the same. But as I read many of those sad and sorry prayers- I look at how God has answered them, the way he has cared for me. It's pretty cool.
Some of my reflections on God:
"God, your love for me is so great that even if I commit every sin I can you will care for me still"
"My Lord is the way to heven and theres no other way i would like to travel. Being in heven with Jesus cant be a boring thing".
"You don't want me to fear the future so help me to look forward to the good things and not dread the bad things"
My spelling was (still is) atrocious- my personal favourite is "anof". Think about it phonetically if you can't work out what I mean.
But probably the strangest thing is what I choose to pray for. I would usually talk about my day with God and pray for myself. Then I had a few people I would pray for everyday. And finally I would pray for a very random group of people who either came to me at the spur of the moment or were inspired by something that happened that day.
Some examples:
I pray for:
...People who play musical instruments
...all the engaged couples of the world
...People who can't praise you because of speech disabilities
...Those who have been badly affected by volcanoes
...those who have snow and don't want it
...Michael Jackson
...for those who have the power to blow up the world (that they think twice)
...those who have lost something of centermental value
...those who lose there job because of tretury
...famous people who have been put down by New Idea magazines- that you would keep them from becoming unpopular.
love B
I think its an interesting exercise for Tim to get to hear something of my year 7 prayer diary. He recon's he can see a fair bit of the thirteen year old still in me!
Year 7 was a really shocking year. I had just arrived back from the US, and was surprised to find that life didn't suddenly turn out wonderful like I expected it to. I didn't have any good friends, and got picked on at school quite a bit. So much of my prayers were crying out to God- pleading with him to change my situation. It's interesting to compare it to now when I am faced with difficulties. My understanding of God is a great deal more sophisticated- but many of the raw emotions are the same. But as I read many of those sad and sorry prayers- I look at how God has answered them, the way he has cared for me. It's pretty cool.
Some of my reflections on God:
"God, your love for me is so great that even if I commit every sin I can you will care for me still"
"My Lord is the way to heven and theres no other way i would like to travel. Being in heven with Jesus cant be a boring thing".
"You don't want me to fear the future so help me to look forward to the good things and not dread the bad things"
My spelling was (still is) atrocious- my personal favourite is "anof". Think about it phonetically if you can't work out what I mean.
But probably the strangest thing is what I choose to pray for. I would usually talk about my day with God and pray for myself. Then I had a few people I would pray for everyday. And finally I would pray for a very random group of people who either came to me at the spur of the moment or were inspired by something that happened that day.
Some examples:
I pray for:
...People who play musical instruments
...all the engaged couples of the world
...People who can't praise you because of speech disabilities
...Those who have been badly affected by volcanoes
...those who have snow and don't want it
...Michael Jackson
...for those who have the power to blow up the world (that they think twice)
...those who have lost something of centermental value
...those who lose there job because of tretury
...famous people who have been put down by New Idea magazines- that you would keep them from becoming unpopular.
love B
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Me at 13
Kyck and all the youthy things I have been doing got me thinking about myself when I was young. What did I understand about God? What did I know.
Luckily for me- I actually have a record for from the age of 13 until the age of around 19 (I think) I kept a fairly regular prayer journal. It was literally my conversations with God about my day and how I was feeling.
I have been reading the entries, and they are pretty funny- and that's not even if you count crazy phonetic spelling! Tim and I were in histerics last night over some of them. I'm going to put some up on this blog when I have the chance.
But its also really interesting- and fascinating to see God's work in my life. Cool to see the simple gospel truths that were obviously so clear to me- especially that I am saved not by what I do.
But I wanted to share one thing. One of the things that I did (don't know why, but its a great idea) is that I sometimes prayed about what I had read in the Bible that day. I was reading through John. This is what I wrote.
"I love you God. I'm so glad that you are three in one. One third Father. One third Jesus, One Third Spirit. And a third of you lives in my heart!
Hmmm, not sure if that's quite an orthodox view of the Trinity!
love B
Luckily for me- I actually have a record for from the age of 13 until the age of around 19 (I think) I kept a fairly regular prayer journal. It was literally my conversations with God about my day and how I was feeling.
I have been reading the entries, and they are pretty funny- and that's not even if you count crazy phonetic spelling! Tim and I were in histerics last night over some of them. I'm going to put some up on this blog when I have the chance.
But its also really interesting- and fascinating to see God's work in my life. Cool to see the simple gospel truths that were obviously so clear to me- especially that I am saved not by what I do.
But I wanted to share one thing. One of the things that I did (don't know why, but its a great idea) is that I sometimes prayed about what I had read in the Bible that day. I was reading through John. This is what I wrote.
"I love you God. I'm so glad that you are three in one. One third Father. One third Jesus, One Third Spirit. And a third of you lives in my heart!
Hmmm, not sure if that's quite an orthodox view of the Trinity!
love B
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Belinda Block
I've been hit with a bad case of a certain type of writers block.
It's not actually writers block because I'm still working on my novel.
It is not only blog block- it's also facebook status block.
It's the strangest of all blocks because for the first time in my life: I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY ABOUT MYSELF!!!!!.
Me! BG. I normally love talking about myself! The highlight of working at RMIT CU was the 6 monthly review where Heather and I spent the whole day...and often part of the next, talking about- you guessed it: ME!
I'm an attention seeker. And when I discovered facebook- where 500 of my closest personal friends could hear about ME whenever they wanted- I was in heaven.
But now...I'm starting to find myself a bit boring.
My life has fit into a nice little pattern. I'm pretty happy with what I'm doing and how I'm going. But there isn't really much to say about it.
I could talk about stuff I do. I could tell you about my novel or the latest episode of Battlestar Galactica that I"m watching. I could tell you of what the kids at church are saying or the conversations that I've been having with friends.
I could.
But not today.
I have Belinda Block
love B
It's not actually writers block because I'm still working on my novel.
It is not only blog block- it's also facebook status block.
It's the strangest of all blocks because for the first time in my life: I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY ABOUT MYSELF!!!!!.
Me! BG. I normally love talking about myself! The highlight of working at RMIT CU was the 6 monthly review where Heather and I spent the whole day...and often part of the next, talking about- you guessed it: ME!
I'm an attention seeker. And when I discovered facebook- where 500 of my closest personal friends could hear about ME whenever they wanted- I was in heaven.
But now...I'm starting to find myself a bit boring.
My life has fit into a nice little pattern. I'm pretty happy with what I'm doing and how I'm going. But there isn't really much to say about it.
I could talk about stuff I do. I could tell you about my novel or the latest episode of Battlestar Galactica that I"m watching. I could tell you of what the kids at church are saying or the conversations that I've been having with friends.
I could.
But not today.
I have Belinda Block
love B
Friday, June 26, 2009
When all the cows are sleeping...
I sometimes think about Uni ministry verses what I'm doing now:
There are lots of serious pros and cons to both.
But really- when it all comes down to it- the Big question that seems to dominate my thinking on this issue is:
What Kind of Dancing do I like more?
21st/Wedding/Party dancing along to the latest hits/old dance classics.
OR
Dancing to songs that involve lots of clapping, nodding, stamping, rolling out of beds, ducks going quack, and pointing to different parts of the body.
I think- at least on the dancing front- Uni Ministry wins. But on the weeks where I get to do Dingle Dangle Scarecrow...it gets a bit closer.
love B
There are lots of serious pros and cons to both.
But really- when it all comes down to it- the Big question that seems to dominate my thinking on this issue is:
What Kind of Dancing do I like more?
21st/Wedding/Party dancing along to the latest hits/old dance classics.
OR
Dancing to songs that involve lots of clapping, nodding, stamping, rolling out of beds, ducks going quack, and pointing to different parts of the body.
I think- at least on the dancing front- Uni Ministry wins. But on the weeks where I get to do Dingle Dangle Scarecrow...it gets a bit closer.
love B
Friday, May 15, 2009
My Secret World
Do you want to know a secret?
Most of the time I act like everyone else, and you might not suspect whats really going on. But I have a secret. A secret world.
I visit it often- sometimes when I'm on the train- still waking up ready to face the day. Sometimes it's after the lights go out and my head has hit the pillow. Sometimes (often in fact) it is when I walk through the streets of wherever I am living at the time. And sometimes it's even here, in the world's most messy office.
I go there most often when I am feeling peaceful and happyish. But even at times of suffering and stress it can be my little refuge for a tired mind.
It is a world that is so different to this one, and yet so many things are the same. There are people that look like us, that struggle like us, with the same problems magnified by their unusual surroundings. This world is an exaggerated caricature of our world. The mountains are grander, the sea is wider and so much is unknown. There is magic and spells and adventure that brings the extraordinary in people- but which also highlight their weakness and sin.
There is a great history that has been slowly wiped out from the memories of the people in that world. But I know that history, and will be slowly revealing it to the characters of my choosing.
There is a little girl who is a little bit like me, though not too much :) She is dreamy and small and inconsequential...at first. But she is the last piece in a puzzle that I am putting together to save her world.
There are events that happen in this world that arrive like a lightening bolt in my head; while others take weeks, months and even years of thinking before I decide on "what happens next".
I don't know if I will ever get my novel finished, and sometimes when I read parts of it I think I'll never get it published even if I do finish! But I love my little world and I love the tales I discover there and so I'm going to keep visiting and writing what I see.
Can you keep my secret?
love B
Most of the time I act like everyone else, and you might not suspect whats really going on. But I have a secret. A secret world.
I visit it often- sometimes when I'm on the train- still waking up ready to face the day. Sometimes it's after the lights go out and my head has hit the pillow. Sometimes (often in fact) it is when I walk through the streets of wherever I am living at the time. And sometimes it's even here, in the world's most messy office.
I go there most often when I am feeling peaceful and happyish. But even at times of suffering and stress it can be my little refuge for a tired mind.
It is a world that is so different to this one, and yet so many things are the same. There are people that look like us, that struggle like us, with the same problems magnified by their unusual surroundings. This world is an exaggerated caricature of our world. The mountains are grander, the sea is wider and so much is unknown. There is magic and spells and adventure that brings the extraordinary in people- but which also highlight their weakness and sin.
There is a great history that has been slowly wiped out from the memories of the people in that world. But I know that history, and will be slowly revealing it to the characters of my choosing.
There is a little girl who is a little bit like me, though not too much :) She is dreamy and small and inconsequential...at first. But she is the last piece in a puzzle that I am putting together to save her world.
There are events that happen in this world that arrive like a lightening bolt in my head; while others take weeks, months and even years of thinking before I decide on "what happens next".
I don't know if I will ever get my novel finished, and sometimes when I read parts of it I think I'll never get it published even if I do finish! But I love my little world and I love the tales I discover there and so I'm going to keep visiting and writing what I see.
Can you keep my secret?
love B
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Still a Kid on the inside
Sometimes I struggle with real self-doubt when it comes to my job.
- I have never studied any form of childhood education (although I do have an unusually high understanding of early numeracy thanks to my parents line of work!)
- I've never had any formal training in children's ministry
- I supervise people who have taught more Sunday School than I have!
- I don't have children of my own, so I don't have that natural know how that a mother gets just from having to work out how to bring up a children from scratch
And yet, as I look back over this previous term, even though there are so many things that I could have done better- I can see that God in his wisdom and grace has guided me through it and used me.
I don't know everything there is to know about kids, but I think one of the secrets I have is that I am still a kid inside. I can play with kids, and I'm only just realising now that this isn't something that comes naturally to everyone. I can relate to kids, I can teach them. I love working with them. And when parents see this, they warm to me and open up to me more than I could have possibly imagined.
The reality of my "inner child" came back to me as I had this particular song stuck in my head for the last month:
The Easter Bunny came hopping along
Swinging his basket and singing a song
He delivered two eggs to the green front door
And he hopped a bit further and delivered some more
Now, having a song stuck in your head is not usually your fault. But I have to take some responsibility for singing it to my husband while I hoped around the room like a rabbit.
My inner-child loves my job almost as much as I do!
love B
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Lessons about marriage to be learned from the Gilmore girls
My sister has got me very much hooked to the Gilmore Girls. So entertain, such witty humour and some really facinating relationships. But its got me asking the question that used to bugged me during my somewhat embarrassing day-time soap phase, "How come television characters are so smart about most things but so dumb about relationships?". I have a sneaky suspicion it might have to do with the need for interesting story lines- but it bugs me non the less.
This is the typical situation in a television show:
Man A is dating the women of his dreams Lady A. Man A does something stupid or wrong but is afraid to tell Lady A and ruin the relationship and so keeps it a scret and even lies about it. Time passes. Stupid Male friend B lets the cat out of the bag and Man A and Lady A break up- and she admits she could forgive him for the mistake-but not for hiding it. Time passes. After a miserable time apart they get back together. But then Man A starts doing something that frustrates Lady A, and she decides not to say anything for the sake of the relationship. Time passes. They grow apart as Lady A doesn't really open up about things anymore due to her frustration, and Man A doesn't know what he's doing wrong. So Man A starts spending more time with Stupid Male friend B or Attractive Lady friend B- and Lady A spends all her time complaining about Man A to whoever will listen. It all blows up and they break up. Time passes...
Communication people! It makes for less exciting television shows but much more rewarding relationships!
This is the typical situation in a television show:
Man A is dating the women of his dreams Lady A. Man A does something stupid or wrong but is afraid to tell Lady A and ruin the relationship and so keeps it a scret and even lies about it. Time passes. Stupid Male friend B lets the cat out of the bag and Man A and Lady A break up- and she admits she could forgive him for the mistake-but not for hiding it. Time passes. After a miserable time apart they get back together. But then Man A starts doing something that frustrates Lady A, and she decides not to say anything for the sake of the relationship. Time passes. They grow apart as Lady A doesn't really open up about things anymore due to her frustration, and Man A doesn't know what he's doing wrong. So Man A starts spending more time with Stupid Male friend B or Attractive Lady friend B- and Lady A spends all her time complaining about Man A to whoever will listen. It all blows up and they break up. Time passes...
Communication people! It makes for less exciting television shows but much more rewarding relationships!
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Belinda's afternoon in the Third person
Belinda sat down on the couch and rubbed her head. Why, why, why she wondered, did she still have a headache? She had sleeped well, ate well, studied not to much, and had just had a peaceful walk home. She stubbornly pushed aside the thought that she might be coming down with something. It would go away. It had to go away. Life already felt too out of control, a few days in bed when she should be sorting things out would send it all over the edge.
Not that she hadn't had a wonderful day. That was the thing about Belinda. Despite headaches and frustration and the spinning sensation caused by so many thoughts- she almost always had good days. Greek, the dragon of first term- if not vanquished- was at the very least sulking in its cave. The classes were interesting, chapel had been the most entertaining of the year (go Benny!), and relationships were good. In fact on the relationships scales-nearly every day there had been a subtle shift as people moved from the side of aquantance to the side of friend.
But still there was uncertainty and Belinda for the most part hated uncertainty. The terms work still didn't fit in neat little columns in her mind- and every so often she had horrible preminitions of late nights trying to summarise books she hadn't had time to read. But it was the end of term four that really worried her. Almost everyday someone would ask- what are you doing next year? Continuing to study? And Belinda would smile a smile that only expressed a pinch of her real frustration and would say "Not sure really, sorry"
Every so often Belinda would think back to those conversations she has had- millions and trillions of conversations she had had with Christian women about uncertainty. Almost every women she had discipled had once heard it- because there is something about being a women and struggling with uncertainty. And Belinda would say the phrase that she loves because its true and she came up with it "God is as much in control when we know what's going to happen as when we don't".
And as she thought back to those conversations-she would try to take it on board, not because she should practice what she preaches, but because it's true. And then she would pray that God would help her trust him, trust him with her spinning heads and her work and her relationships and her headache and her future and her uncertainty. And she would ask his forgiveness for her lack of faith in his goodness and grace. How often she asked for this! And how comforting to know that there was never any such thing as too often!
Belinda smiled to herself, got off the couch and picked up her next assignment of the term. She began to read...
Not that she hadn't had a wonderful day. That was the thing about Belinda. Despite headaches and frustration and the spinning sensation caused by so many thoughts- she almost always had good days. Greek, the dragon of first term- if not vanquished- was at the very least sulking in its cave. The classes were interesting, chapel had been the most entertaining of the year (go Benny!), and relationships were good. In fact on the relationships scales-nearly every day there had been a subtle shift as people moved from the side of aquantance to the side of friend.
But still there was uncertainty and Belinda for the most part hated uncertainty. The terms work still didn't fit in neat little columns in her mind- and every so often she had horrible preminitions of late nights trying to summarise books she hadn't had time to read. But it was the end of term four that really worried her. Almost everyday someone would ask- what are you doing next year? Continuing to study? And Belinda would smile a smile that only expressed a pinch of her real frustration and would say "Not sure really, sorry"
Every so often Belinda would think back to those conversations she has had- millions and trillions of conversations she had had with Christian women about uncertainty. Almost every women she had discipled had once heard it- because there is something about being a women and struggling with uncertainty. And Belinda would say the phrase that she loves because its true and she came up with it "God is as much in control when we know what's going to happen as when we don't".
And as she thought back to those conversations-she would try to take it on board, not because she should practice what she preaches, but because it's true. And then she would pray that God would help her trust him, trust him with her spinning heads and her work and her relationships and her headache and her future and her uncertainty. And she would ask his forgiveness for her lack of faith in his goodness and grace. How often she asked for this! And how comforting to know that there was never any such thing as too often!
Belinda smiled to herself, got off the couch and picked up her next assignment of the term. She began to read...
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Procrastination doesn't pay
Sorry I haven't written in a while.
I've just had one of those really blah weeks. There has been some lovely stuff (great times with friends and the equip conferences was excellent- will write about it soon) but I have been feeling a bit off colour and head-achey, the result being that rather than actually doing a respectable amount of work I did maybe half an hours study a day this week. Which means i have an essay due tomorrow. Which I haven't finished. And now I actually do feel properly sick and have to work through it!
Procrastination doesn't pay kiddies. Write that down. No, I said write it down. Don't go onto facebook, don't go watch TV. I said write it down! Where are you going? Didn't you hear what I said? It doesn't pay...don't leave...you still haven't written it down...wait...
;)
I've just had one of those really blah weeks. There has been some lovely stuff (great times with friends and the equip conferences was excellent- will write about it soon) but I have been feeling a bit off colour and head-achey, the result being that rather than actually doing a respectable amount of work I did maybe half an hours study a day this week. Which means i have an essay due tomorrow. Which I haven't finished. And now I actually do feel properly sick and have to work through it!
Procrastination doesn't pay kiddies. Write that down. No, I said write it down. Don't go onto facebook, don't go watch TV. I said write it down! Where are you going? Didn't you hear what I said? It doesn't pay...don't leave...you still haven't written it down...wait...
;)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)