God's goodness when life is not good.

I've been reflecting on the concept of God's goodness.


I think when something horrible happens it's a natural progression of your mind, but it was sparked off particularly by a facebook comment. A million people (okay, slight exaggeration) have announced in the last month that they are having a baby, many of which are expecting in July when our little one would have been due. This is heart-breakingly hard for us. One of those people commented on facebook when discussing their pregnancy (which had taken a long time to happen) that "God is good".

I really struggled with that at first. The way I thought about it was that this person thought that the evidence of God's goodness was that they had been given a baby. But then the thing I struggled with was- what was the loss of our baby evidence of? Is God good to give one person a child, and not good to take one away from someone else.

One of my teens at church asked me once "Why is it that when something good happen we have to say thanks to God but when something bad happens it's not his fault?". Brilliant question!

Anyway, all these things had been floating around my head a few nights ago when I got to listen to a recording of a talk on Psalm 136- which was all about God's goodness, and how we can think about God's goodness in relation to the hard things in life. Talk about good timing! It really helped me to put together in my head what it means for God to be good, and how to understand hard things.

A few reflections:

-God is the king of all things good. Because he made this world good and every good and perfect gift comes from him- then it is right to respond to happy and good things by remembering- "oh that's right, God is good".

-The world is a mess because of sin. While God is not out-of-control of the bad things, he is not morally responsible for them. Therefore, the bad things that happen don't negate God's goodness.

-God's goodness is seen in what he has done. He has made this world good. He has looked after his people. And most importantly, he has sent his son to die for us. All these things are constant signs of his goodness that we need to hold onto when life is not good. We have powerful evidence of his goodness in the cross.

-God's love is steadfast (Psalm 136 repeats the refrain- his love endures forever). When I feel like God is not being loving or good at the moment it is helpful to hear that he doesn't change. The same love that he had for me when he sent his son to die for sin is the same loyal love he has for me right now in this pain.

The truth is, in my life (quite the opposite of what my teenage friend said), when good things happen I tend to not thank God, and when bad things happen I blame him. When in reality all good things in my life are a sign of his goodness, and the problems and hard things are as a result of human sin. And yet God in his amazing sovereign way is in control of it all and is able to take bad and use it for good.

So yes- when a friend who has been trying for a while gets pregnant- she is right to say "God is good".

When my husband very patiently loves me through this time of depression and doubt- that is God showing his love for me. That is God's goodness. When I have a particularly good ice-cream, or when Tim's brother has a lovely wedding, or when I survive a day that I didn't think I could. That is God showing his love for me. That is God's goodness.

And the fact that God can look at this rebellious child who is so mad at him and still love her and send his son to die for her?

That is God's goodness.

love B

How Long...

Monday wasn't a great day.

Part way through the day I was struggling with unanswered prayers and thinking about Psalms- and I started thinking about the one or two Psalms which have the line in them "How Long, oh Lord...". I decided to try to find them, so I opened up www.biblegateway.com

I found many, many Psalms which contained the words "How Long?". How often does the cry come from God's people! And it is not an incorrect thing to ask.

But something else came up too:

"This is what the LORD, the God of the Hebrews, says: 'How long will you refuse to humble yourself before me? Ex 10:3

Then the LORD said to Moses, "How long will you refuse to keep my commands and my instructions?Exodus 16:27

The LORD said to Moses, "How long will these people treat me with contempt? How long will they refuse to believe in me, in spite of all the miraculous signs I have performed among them?Numbers 14:11

The LORD said to Samuel, "How long will you mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him as king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and be on your way; I am sending you to Jesse of Bethlehem. I have chosen one of his sons to be king." 1 Samuel 16:1

Elijah went before the people and said, "How long will you waver between two opinions? If the LORD is God, follow him; but if Baal is God, follow him." But the people said nothing. 1 Kings 18:21

How long, O men, will you turn my glory into shame ? How long will you love delusions and seek false gods ? Psalm 4:2

How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep? Prov 6:9

O Jerusalem, wash the evil from your heart and be saved. How long will you harbor wicked thoughts? Jeremiah 4:14

God has given this cry to, when he's observed stiff-necked people. People like me.

Thank you Lord, for your patience.
Please grant me patience too.
Amen

Love B

God is...

How would you respond?

I asked my scripture class what we had learnt about what God is like this year.

Two of the girls (using the black-eyed pea song) described him as...

G. L. A. M. O. R. O. U. S.

hmmm.....

Writing

Dear Friends,
It's been a crazy week of writing. In the space of this week I've written about 13 pages of my novel. That may not seem like a big deal to those who've never written one- but it was just an amazing slog for me- who had been re-writing so much that I had completed 2 pages in the previous 2 months!

Oh I love it, I love it, I love it.

I love writing a scene completely from scratch- where I just get to a section of the story with a gap and I just write. And then I look at it surprised and say "Wow, so that's what happened! So interesting and unexpected".

I love putting into words scenes and realities that have been sitting in my head for often over a year and seeing them finally make their way onto my computer screen.

And its scary because now I'm starting to think I can't just comfort myself that I'll probably get sick of it and move onto another story soon. If things keep going as is some day I will actually have the first draft of a novel. And then I will have to do something with it- like find an agent or approach a publisher. And that is very, very scary.

I always wanted to be an author. Even now- I'm constantly coming up with new ideas for stories, or even non-fiction works.

This week I've been thinking alot about suffering, which is a little ironic because it's been such a beautiful week! I think to be honest that is part of the reason I can think about it- I find it hard to be introspective and thoughtful about things when I'm going through them.

I've been thinking about how so much of my life I've been faced with suffering and my attitude has been "wait, God will make it all better soon". And yet the more I look around me- I see that this is not how it works. Some suffering lasts a life-time. Life is not always filled with moment of "Oh, so that's why God let that happen!" Sometimes it is. Often it isn't.

I would love to write a book about how to think about what we can expect from the Christian life. The good and the bad. And also what are things that we are often programed to expect (like easy answers as to what God is doing) and more helpful ways of thinking about them. I'd like to write a book that is positive and uplifting and realistic.

One more to add to the list.
love B

Psalm 51:16-17

You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.

What an amazing God we have, who deserved everything, who we have treated with such disdain.

Yet what sacrifice does he require? What do we need to present to him?

Only our broken and contrite hearts
He will not despise

Praise God!
love B

Trusting God

What do you do when your finding hard to trust God with your life?

This is something I've been pondering alot this year. Most of the time (or at least most of the time in this amazingly blessed country that we live in) you can just remind yourself of Romans 8:28 "All things work for the good of those who love him, all who are called according to his purpose"- and see that playing out beautifully in your life. We can rest in the knowledge that God is good, and that he loves us, and that we can trust him with everything that might happen. We look back over our life and thank God for the way that he's blessed us and cared for us, even through the tough times.

But what about when that is hard? When suffering doesn't make any sense? When you pray, and you pray and you pray and it doesn't change. When friends around you have such horrible, tragic things happen to them that you don't even know what you can possibly say to comfort?

You can go to the Psalms and they are wonderful. Through the pain and the doubt the Psalmists find themselves looking back at the God who saved their people. My personal favourites for those times are Psalms 23, 27, 42, 73, 126. I really encourage you to read the Psalms and store up your own list of Psalms for times of doubt, sin, joy and struggle.

In the past, when its been hard to trust God, the Psalms have always been my go to point. But this week I've found a new strategy and it was such a blessing I wanted to tell you all about it.

I go to the gospels and I read about Jesus.

I know it sounds a bit weird and non-specific. But if you want to see what God is like, what better place to go than to the Son who walked on this earth.

When I wonder if God really does care about my pain, I read the stories of Jesus interacting with people, challenging people, loving people and I think- yes, I can't look at this man and say that he and his Father do not care about my pain.

I look to the depth of his love, seen on the cross as he died for me, even me, and I think- yes, this is love.

And I repent, praise him for his goodness to me, and keep praying. I pray in the knowledge that whatever the answer, it is from one who loves me.
love B

Christian Charm students manual

My sister and I have been rather enjoying looking through a quaint little book that Sandy's friend found in an op-shop. It is called "Christian Charm Students Manual". Written in the sixties (can't you tell!), this little book details how you can be charming and beautiful "Inside and Out". It's so funny! There are thrilling entries like "Posing Pointers", "Is my posture lovely", "facial beauty from without", and my personal favourite: "As a Christian Girl, what should be my attitude towards my hair?"

As well as making us laugh- its actually been an interesting exercise in thinking about culture. In the sixties, at least according to this book, to dye your hair was all about drawing inappropriate attention to yourself and a "good Christian girl" wouldn't dream of it. Now we don't even think about it. I wonder what aspects of life we define as very important issues for being godly that are simply our Christian culture setting the norms. It also makes me wonder what real and important values we've thrown out the window simply because our wider culture doesn't see them as important.

I was reminded of this in a discussion over lunch at college about different television shows. Think about the way we watch TV. We cheer when our favourite couple finally sleeps together, we find ourselves hoping that the lie that was told will never be found out, and we celebrate when marriages we didn't like break up. As Christians, is it really appropriate to shut off our moral compass in the name of being entertained?

All interesting questions, much more interesting and relevant than how to have young looking hands! Though we probably shut off our moral compass when we think about beauty too; leting the world dictate what is important in that area also.

And how do I rate in the area of charm? Tim very kindly assured me when he read the charm book that I wasn't at all charming by sixties standards! Hmmm, makes be feel better about tricking him during the tofu incident ;)

Fantasy Fiction

For those of you who don't know, I occasionally embark on the obscure hobby of writing fiction.

Its predominately a dormant hobby- because at various phases of my life I move in and out of it due to time and motivation. I've been doing bits and pieces since I was a kid, got a bit more serious when I was in Uni and at early stages of work, lost interest when Tim came along (he can be very distracting you know ;)- then rekindled it again over this summer. When I write, life is generally more exciting, I am happier- and strangely I become easier to live with. And for some reason, despite 23 years of time passing and passions changing, the literary dreams that started when I was five (with my first short story- "The Day the Sun turned Pink") I still can't bare to put to rest. So I find myself once again attempting to write a novel.

At the moment I am embarking into the world of fantasy fiction- with somewhat hilarious results. I'm out of the habit of writing, so much of my efforts so far come out as cliche and over the top- I'd show you some but I'm much too embarrassed of it. Plus I'd never realised just how much planning goes into a fantasy story. Every time I start writing I realise there is a whole lot of background thinking that I still have to do before my story comes together. What is my world, what is its history- these thoughts occupy my time much more than actually time typing out actually words on a computer.

But it has raised for me an interesting question of how as a Christian I should go about writing fantasy. I dealt with some of these issues in my mind during the start of the Harry Potter craze (of which I was and am very much swept up in)- but I've realised that its another ball game when you are actually doing the writing. In a fantasy world- unless you are in the calibre of brilliance of CS Lewis- it doesn't seem possible to have a God figure without somehow being heretical or down-playing the glory of the one true God. Yet how do you make a world which makes sense without him- given that this world and all that is in it is held together and has its meaning in Christ?

Then you have the question of magic. Given the way the Bible talks about magic- how do you use it within fantasy? My current thinking is to include it- but keep it very clearly in the realm of the unreal. But is that just a cop-out because it is such a useful literary device?

I would love to use my story as an evangelistic tool- but again I feel that a clear gospel presentation within it is very much beyond me. But pre-evangelism? Can it be a place to raise issues to do with morality, sin and judgement? The failing of the human race?

When I studied Creative writing at Uni I feel very much into the trap of writing to sound smart and to impress my classmates- not at all thinking what it meant to write as a Christian. But at the same time I don't want to produce something that is wooden and false because I'm trying to turn my art into theological prose.

Anyway, those are my random thoughts, which I'm hopefully going to add to by doing a bit of reading on the topic. If anyone has any thoughts on these issues I'd appreciate hearing them.
B